How To Conquer Self Doubt

How To Conquer Self Doubt

My biggest fear is meeting the destiny version of myself and not recognizing her

at all.

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views

Do me a favor and think back to the first time you ever doubted yourself, and I mean the very first time.

The truth is, you weren't born with doubts about yourself and these thoughts that engulf you about not being strong enough, skinny enough, smart enough are not your thoughts, they are thoughts that were given to you in an external source. It was something that someone put in your head, something that someone made you feel insecure, or self-conscious about. The minute you start to doubt yourself, your mind races to find a scenario that has occurred in your life where that doubt reigns true and it finds multiple references that prove that you in fact, have a reason to doubt yourself.

Here's an example: I was feeling overwhelmed because of an upcoming test in a subject that has proven to be difficult for me. I know that I am smart and capable of performing well, but I think back to the time my accounting professor told me to shoot for a grade much lower that I was capable of because she didn't think I could test at a higher standard. As I sat in a tiny café, studying for the exam that was approaching, her voice echoed throughout my head, and I sat and analyzed all of the times I didn't perform to the highest of my potential. I thought back to the exam sophomore year that I failed because of miscalculations, the lab practical that resulted in a D because I didn't know the specific organisms to the best of my ability, and the list went on and on. I sat there and confirmed the doubt I had in my head by finding scenarios in which my accounting professor was right.

Here's the deal, self-doubt is one of the most toxic things in the entire world. It causes people to not chase after their dreams and say no to opportunities because they don't feel worthy of receiving such things. Honestly, I believe self-doubt is impossible to overcome, so instead you must build something bigger than the doubt. You need to build trust with yourself, and a reputation within yourself by doing the things you say you're going to do.

I can't even begin to count the amount of commitments that I didn't deliver on long term. Promises made to wake up earlier, study harder, and workout more were broken before they even began. So, step one to conquering self doubt is to make a promise today, right at this moment, that you can keep to yourself. Beginning today, stack the game so that you can win and acknowledge when you meet milestones, complete goals, and earn achievements. Build up a confidence momentum, and every time you find that self-doubt is creeping in, immediately say, "That's not my thought, that is someone else's," and move on with being a badass.

Step two to conquering self self is realizing that every day we are met with misconceptions and flawed beliefs that aid in building up our self-doubt. The three main flawed beliefs that I have found to reign true in my life;

1. I am my accomplishments

I won't ever be confident until I receive an A on this test, lose this much weight, graduate from college, secure a job when is actuality this crippling mentality will leave you seeking more and more while finding less and less until you feel the satisfaction that you are seeking.

2. I am what other people say I am

Good or bad, stop letting that dictate your self-confidence. You are not the bad things and you are not the good things that people say about you. Stop living your life for likes and comments and please don't do things to solicit someone saying nice things about you. This belief is cheap, shallow, hollow and fleeting, ultimately causing short term confidence and satisfaction.

3. I am what I look like

How many times have you said, "If I don't look like her, like him, like them, I won't ever be happy." We live in a world that is doing everything in its power to get you to believe that you aren't good enough. Please realize that you are so much more than what you look like. You have beauty in your soul, your spirit, your gifts and your intentions, and no one can take that from you.

When you realize that the flawed beliefs and self-doubt that have been pushed into our minds are not true, you will soon realize that you are the only person holding yourself back from a world full of opportunity. Imagine making it to the end of your life and meeting the destiny version of yourself and not recognizing her at all, make a promise to yourself today to chase your full potential.

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A list Of 15 Inspiring Words That Mean So Much

A single word can mean a lot.
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Positivity is so important in life. A lot of times we always go to quotes for empowerment but I have realized that just one word can be just as powerful. Here is a list of inspiring words.

1. Worthy

Realizing your self-worth is important. Self-worth can really make or break a persons personality. Always know that you are worthy of respect. And also, never compare yourself to others.

2. Courage

Be courageous in life. Life has so many opportunities so do not be scared to grasp any opportunity that comes your way. You have the ability to do anything you have your heart and mind set to do, even the things that frighten you.

3. Enough

When you are feeling down and feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, know that you are more than enough. And yes there is always room for improvement but when it comes to my self-worth I always have to remind myself that I am enough.

4. Blessed

Be thankful. A lot of times we forget how blessed we are. We focus so much on stress and the bad things that are going on in our lives that we tend to forget all of the beautiful things we have in life.

5. Focus

Focus on your goals, focus on positive things, and focus on the ones you love. Do not focus on things that will keep you from not reaching your goals and people that do not have good intentions for your life.

6. Laugh

Laughing is one of the best forms of medicine. Life is truly better with laughter.

7. Warrior

Through the good and the bad you are a warrior. Be strong, soldier.

8. Seek

Seek new things. Allow yourself to grow in life. Do not just be stuck.

9. Faith

During the bad times, no matter the circumstances, have faith that everything will be all right.

10. Live

Start living because life is honestly way too short. Live life the way you want to live. Do not let anyone try to control you.

11. Enjoy

Enjoy everything that life has to offer. Enjoy even the littlest of things because, as I said before, life is short. And plus, there is no time to live life with regrets.

12. Believe

Believe in yourself and never stop. Believing in yourself brings so many blessings and opportunities in your life.

13. Serendipity

A lot of times we look for things to fill an empty void that we have. Usually what we are looking for comes when we are not looking at all. Your serendipity will come.

14. Create

Share your ideas with the world. Creativity brings change to your life. However you chose to use your creativity do not be scared to show your intelligence, talent, and passion.

15. Love

The world is already full of so much hate, so love unconditionally with all your heart.

Cover Image Credit: Tanveer Naseer

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Internet outraged at Delhi Aunty for Sl*t Shaming

Public outrage - justified or an overreaction?

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When the topic of sexual violence against women arises, women are often held responsible - because of how they dress, or how they behave, or even if they have a voice. A recent incident in Delhi showed that the mindset of people has not changed. In a video posted by Shivani Gupta, a middle-aged woman is seen defending her claim, "Women wearing short dresses deserve to be raped."

This backward mentality surrounding rape and rape culture is horrifying to see. The middle-aged woman first shamed them for wearing short clothes and when she was confronted, she told them "they deserved to get raped." She made things worse when she told other men in the restaurant to rape such women who wear short clothes.

Shivani and her friends later confronted this woman while taking the video. They wanted a public apology for her statement and followed her around. The older woman stood by her statement. Fair enough. They felt threatened by her statements and wanted an apology for her actions. The older lady, however, was brazen about her ideologies and refused to apologize. In fact, she threatened to call the cops for harassment.

The woman who made the regressive statements. Shivani Gupta

While the anger and outrage by the women who uploaded this video are justified, several questions are being raised on whether the older woman was later harassed for her statements. Public shaming is not the way to solve this issue.

"We cannot dismantle a culture of shaming by participating in it." - Rega Jha.

Now, I believe that nobody must engage in victim shaming. Nobody has the right to police the outfit one wishes to wear. It is astonishing to believe that even in the 21st century, people still believe that an outfit determines the morality and character of a person. That older woman was wrong to sl*t-shame the girls for wearing what they want. That being said, even though what that woman did was horrible, public shaming will not work. It will not change the mindset behind these ideologies. What that older woman did was akin to bullying. Publicly shaming her, stalking her facebook account or posting comments or by coercing her, you are also behaving in the same manner of bullying.

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