Part IV
Helen had no idea how long she had been sitting in the stairwell. Time had frozen. She felt as if she had also. Her heart had gone cold. She had nowhere to turn; bridges were burning all around her. She couldn’t put them all out at once. The cold concrete and steel of the stairwell seemed to comfort her as she sat. The sounds of people milling about below sent metallic echoes through the cold shaft. She tried unsuccessfully to cry. Her emotions all but gone; she mustered the strength to get up and leave. She wasn’t sure if it was her conscious or subconscious mind that led her up instead of down. She felt as if she was being pulled by some unseen force towards the roof; towards her fate.
Allen was refreshed. He had managed to work through his issues, and now looked at them in a whole new light. He had spent years of his life blaming everyone else for the bad choices he had made. He thought of Helen. Sweet Helen. Sure, she had divulged information vengefully as a way to betray him, but his transgressions had brought this act upon her. She wasn’t to blame. All she was guilty of was falling in love with a selfish man. He thought of all the times she sat home alone waiting for him. “She was loyal to a fault”, he had always said. This couldn’t have been more true at this moment. He also thought of Sid. Poor Sid. He had been Allen’s shadow all these years, doing all the work and taking none of the credit. The thought consumed Allen with guilt. “Oh my God”, Allen said. “I’ve created this whole mess myself.” He needed to take responsibility for his actions, and time was of the essence. He ran to the phone to call Helen at once. Helen’s phone went to voicemail; he tried again. Not reaching her, he decided he would head down to the office to talk to Sid instead.
Helen was one floor away from the roof when her phone rang. She looked at the screen and saw the picture of Allen in his baseball hat. This was her favorite picture of him, and she was so proud when she figured out how to program it into her phone. Today however, it just made her shudder. She let the call go to voicemail, and continued to trudge up the stairs. Her phone rang again. She was sure it was one of Allen’s ploys to start a fight so she ignored it once more. She was on a mission, and unravelling fast. Forcefully, she opened the door to the roof and was hit with blinding light. She had been in the somewhat dim stairwell for quite some time, giving her eyes quite a shock. Slightly stumbling, she swiftly made her way to the nearest edge located at the northeast corner of the building. She looked down at the sidewalk some two hundred feet below, and wondered if was a fatal height. “It’s got to be”, she said to herself as she diligently climbed her way onto the ledge. She felt free. She felt as if this was the first major life or death decision she had made in a very long time. She didn’t mind if the decision was death; she thought it was somewhat honorable. She wouldn’t be missed anyway. She laughed at the thought. It was so cliché. She stood atop her new-found spot and looked out at the beautiful view. “I can almost see my house from here.” She giggled to herself once more. Helen had a penchant for joking to herself in dire situations; it somehow calmed her anxieties. She wasn’t sure she was ready for this, and doubt started to set in, once again, her mind and body became motionless; and time stood still.
Allen entered the parking garage on the Southwest corner of the building. His mind was racing. He couldn’t wait to get closure with Sid, no matter how ugly it had to get. He was ready to take responsibility, and that’s all that mattered. Sid’s reaction after that would be on him. Allen’s conscience would be clean. As he walked towards the elevators he noticed a peculiar calm in the parking garage. It was usually bustling all day with the sounds of horns and tires screeching. Today there was nothing. He also noticed upon entering, that the guard wasn’t in his booth. This all seemed quite strange, yet Allen shrugged it off and headed towards the elevator. “Damnit!” Allen exclaimed as he realized that the elevators weren’t working either. “What the hell is going on around here?” Allen muttered as he grudgingly made his way towards the stairs. Something felt wrong as he ascended the stairs; the hairs on his neck were standing up. A feeling of doom crept over him as he approached the lobby door.
At this point, Helen had no idea how long she had been standing there. She was one with the Gods, or the fates involved in this type of thing and felt no escape. She hadn’t opened her eyes for some time, and she was starting to feel drowsy as well. She couldn’t grasp a thought as she helplessly fell into a suicidal trance. From there on out, her actions seemed not of her own, but in the control of a higher being; a Deity of lost hope.
