Most of us were born with soft, dry hands -- never understanding the struggle of having to wipe down your sweaty palms before greeting someone with a handshake or frantically fanning your underarms before someone spies your pit stains. Unfortunately for myself and the other 3% of the U.S. population, we relate to this encounter on the daily. So if you've ever been grossed out by a wet high-five you've received, just know that the sweat isn't our fault! And if you would like to further grasp the concept of what it's like to constantly be perspiring, read on.
Carpeted floors are our best friend.
Nothing is more embarrassing than leaving a trail of sweaty footprints behind your every step on hardwood or marley floors. A couple weeks ago, I took a dance class at an arts camp, and we were not permitted to wear socks on the marley floor. Before the class started, the instructor gave a brief talk on what we would be learning while the students sat down. Keep in mind, this occurred in the dead of summer and the room was a bit humid. So when we all stood up to dance, everyone's footprints stuck to the floor -- including mine. Except I left something else behind on the floor as well. Like the sweaty BEAST I am, the entire imprint of my thighs, legs, and feet were there for everyone to see. Although I tried to laugh it off and make it an ongoing inside joke between the people that witnessed it, it was super embarrassing, nevertheless.
Dark t-shirts! Dark t-shirts! Dark t-shirts!!
The pit stains are real. I don't even know how many ruined t-shirts I have gone through before I realized that light colors will never work for me! They say that white shirts can hide your secret, but they leave behind that gross greenish-yellow stain.Thankfully, black always has my back. I'm probably still sweating but at least you can't see it.
Deodorant doesn't always work.
For literally THE longest time, I used Suave or Lady's Speed Stick but still managed to uncontrollably perspire. My mom always told me, "you just need to put more on for it to work!" Spoiler Alert: it never did. Recently I discovered men's deodorant which surprisingly did assist in keeping my predicament under control. I guess there's hope for everyone.
We go to the bathroom to wipe away our sweat.
Sometimes, during the day, when the sweat glands are being especially rebellious, I seek out an opportunity to go to the bathroom to wipe away the sweat. Usually if there are other people in the restroom, I go into a stall and use toilet paper; however, if the room is vacant, I'll snatch some paper towels from the dispenser and begin dabbing away at my pits before anyone catches me sweat-handed.
Award ceremonies are the worst.
Or any type of public gathering, for that matter. Award ceremonies are my least and most favorite type of events because 1. AWARDS and 2. ANXIOUS SWEATING. So basically, at any type of ceremony I start to get really nervous whether it's about how well I did (if it's a competition) or going up on stage, and when I get anxious, I sweat (shocker). When I sweat, my palms start to GLISTEN and I am forced to constantly wipe them off on my pants/dress. The moments leading up to receiving my award are a stressful endeavor because I think about having to shake the announcer's hand and then I sweat EVEN MORE.
We sweat year-round.
Oh, how I wish the unruly sweat monster only came around in the summertime, but nope, the glands don't stop for nobody. Fall: sweat. Winter: sweat. Spring: extra sweat because exams. Summer: sweat. It's really crazy how one can be shivering and sweating simultaneously. We are literally human sprinklers.
And there you have it, folks. Just a few confessions of a sweaty person. Hopefully you've gained some insight and understanding on why my palm is always glistening or why I was sticking toilet paper down the sleeve of my shirt in the bathroom that one day. All in all, I think it's important to acknowledge that we don't wish this perspiration upon ourselves, and we would make it stop if we could. However since we can't, I guess we just have to embrace it and face the fact that it is a part of our beautiful bodies.
