Earlier this year, a movie was released with the title of The DUFF. The movie centers around a high schooler named Bianca and what happens when she finds out that she is the DUFF of her friend group, DUFF standing for Designated Ugly Fat Friend. The concept of a DUFF is meant to represent one person in a friend group who isn't exactly the prettiest or most popular, and is described in the movie as the approachable one.
I first watched the movie with my mom and sisters and in the first five minutes, the realization hit me: I was a real life DUFF.
I was the perpetually single one with a weird sense of humor and a taste for adventure books, the designated third-wheeler and friend GPS. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved my high school friends. And although I didn't have the optimal high school experience, I enjoyed my time there. But looking back and realizing that I was a DUFF makes me think a little more about things.
I had absolutely no confidence in high school, and perhaps that's what made me so DUFF-like. For the most part, I stuck to baggier clothes that hid my stomach and often preferred leggings to the muffin top-producing jeans. I tried wearing makeup to make me look prettier, but eventually gave up because I didn't think I looked good either way. I tried different hairstyles, thinking one specific look could skyrocket my beauty level. All of my friends were in relationships, and I was constantly single. People would always ask me about my friends, whether they were single, or looking to hook up. Looking back, I think so many people tolerated me because of the friends I had. They wanted to talk to them, and that meant they had to socialize with me, the ever-awkward, pimply DUFF.
My experience as a DUFF was nothing like the way it was portrayed in the movie. I didn't get the guy at the end, social barriers didn't totally implode, and I did not go to prom in a kick-ass plaid dress. Being a DUFF was the worst, and it only ended while going to college a state away from the high school halls that always made me nervous.
It takes stepping out of a situation and getting a better look at it in order to really see and understand it. Yes, I was a high school DUFF. But that experience is part of what made me who I am today, and I am so grateful for it because of that. I've gained so much confidence since high school. In my looks, in my abilities, in everything. I feel better about myself, and all it took was being surrounded by the right people in the right environment. Last spring, I joined my university's chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha, where I found my home and my people. They pick me up and dust me off when I trip and stumble (both in the figurative and literal sense, although only after snap chatting the literal falls) and always make me feel so special. You guys are my everything, and I can't thank you enough.
So, for all you current DUFFs out there, listen to this advice. Surround yourself with people who love you for you, and especially for the things that you think are far from perfect. Most importantly, however, have confidence in yourself. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are intelligent. Have that confidence in yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
