Hello universe, it's me again. I will start by confessing that I am most definitely homesick. I will also admit in the past two months I have:

Cried for 3 hours because I missed my cat.

Specifically refused to wash a t-shirt because it smelled like my basement.

Woken up in the middle of the night entirely surprised and aghast to be sleeping in a dorm room, and not my bed room.

The list goes on and I can assure you there are many other symptoms, and I have yet to decide if there is actually a cure for homesickness.

Don't get me wrong. I've made great friends here, and I absolutely love my school. Socially I actually fit in quite well. The fact that in some ways I truly do belong here makes all of this more confusing.

I have recently been counting down the days until I get to visit home for the first time since leaving for college. I moved 8 hours away from where I've lived my whole life. It didn't hit me until a month in that my previous place was all I've ever known.

It was neither a small town nor a close-minded community, but it was a place I was indeed familiar with that is now very far away. I miss the familiarity.

I don't know the roads here or the weather patterns. I don't know where my favorite food chains all are or what sport teams the people here cheer for. I suppose this general knowledge will come with time; however, I don't know if I'll ever feel like this place is my place.

It's rather paradoxical that the vacation I've been counting down the days for is just an average weekend at home. I'm living in an incredible new place; I get to explore the Chicago area every weekend. I had dinner in the Hancock Building this past week, yet I find myself longing for this average weekend of raking leaves with my siblings and going shopping at the local grocery store.

And in general one might think I'd be absolutely excited to go home, and I know I will enjoy being with my family and in the house I've grown up in for the four days I'm home. But I'm also worried.

Will I be able to convince myself to leave home again?

It was hard the first time, but at that point I still had adventure ahead of me. The transitional honey moon period of new found independence is over. My rose colored glasses have shattered and I find myself maneuvering around puddles of homesickness every step I take. How hard will it be to rip that Band-Aid off again? I find myself apprehensive that visiting home may only make my homesickness worse.

So this is where I'm at. I'm a college student just a little too far from home. We can agree that exposing ourselves to new places will allow us to grow, but will it be worth feeling placeless for the time being? I wonder, can our travels take us so far, so that home stops feeling like home? Do I need to feel at home in my place to thrive?

If you're somewhere new right now, maybe you'll relate to all of these personal musings. Maybe you'll ask yourself the same questions. In the end, I just hope that at some point in your life you will find a your own corner of the universe where you can say, "This is my place and this is my home."

And I hope I'll be able to say that once again too.