I’m under the age of 22 and I have several children that range anywhere from 17 to 27. Now, don’t be confused - they didn’t come out of my womb, I chose them. They’re all my friends and I am the friend group mom.
I clean up the messes, I watch over the children, I protect the children and, as crazy as it sounds, I make sure everyone is staying on top of their schoolwork. Some could say that I'm the boring friend, but I assure you I am quite fun. I just care a bit too much about life's important matters. The funny thing is, I didn’t choose this lifestyle. Matter of fact being the friend mom is something that is rarely chosen, because of course all of us just want to be young, wild and free. We’re all young and for the most part experiencing a life on our own for the first time. Many students think that they are independent and surviving on their own, but 99.9 percent of the time they have a friend group mom to take care of them without even realizing it.
Being a mother at this age is not easy. All the kids are having so much fun! I could be enjoying the fun aspects of college with them if I wasn’t busy holding somebody’s hair back, or making sure that no fights break out between the two boys fighting over what they think the best color is. Without the "Mom" of the friend group, many people would wake up from their wild nights with massive headaches, gigantic mistakes and many lost memories.
The duties of a friend group mother aren’t tied down to wild nights out either. We are required to be the best listeners and the greatest advice givers. Which is funny, because no matter how great the advice we give is, all the children will go against it. Then, when the issues come tumbling down, we must hide our "told ya so" attitudes and console the upset kid. My favorite way to make an upset human feel better is to embrace them in a bear hug and sing "You'll Be In My Heart" from "Tarzan." It's not awkward at all, I promise.
The worst part about being the friend group mom, is not having your own. Of course we have our Mum or Dad at home that can guide us through our problems, but they can’t always be physically present in our college life, which makes a massive difference. When the friend group mom needs a mom herself, things feel different. The children begin to wonder what’s wrong, and get upset when the mother can’t talk to them or ask them for advice. Sometimes, I find it hard to gain everyone's understanding, because my emotional problems and life issues are a bit different than the usual issues talked about among the friend group - issues where "it's OK" and "Oh girl, you got this" do not work. For that reason, I, and probably a lot of friend group moms out there choose to keep their problems to themselves.
If I have learned anything from being the friend group mom, it’s how crazy dependent we all are on some type of guidance and direction. We all need someone to tell our problems to, and who can help us avoid issues along with an ability to see in different perspectives, because it makes life a little less scary. If you know who your friend group mom is, show them some appreciation and while you’re at it, tell your own mom or guardian angel how much you love them!
Even though I don’t get to have as much fun at outings and I want to pull my hair out during most of our “important” conversations (about boyfriends and what color dress to buy), I wouldn’t change a thing.
I do not want to undermine the real mothers out there. Being a friend group mom is nothing compared to the real thing, and for that I admire and praise all you mothers out there!
