Have you ever felt like you have a note taped to your head that says "Hey you! Please feel free to walk all over me!" because you seem to be pushed around a lot? If you have, it's likely you're lacking in confidence and self-esteem. Having these self-image issues gets you noticed by the worst kind of people: the users. You become infamously known for being a pushover because your weaknesses gain the attention of those who will use this to their advantage and trample all over you. It sucks, and it really messes with your head because, for every instance of being walked on you encounter, you circle back and feel worse about yourself and importance than before. It’s a vicious, never-ending cycle of thinking “why do I do so much for people who wouldn’t do the same for me? Do I not matter after all?”
If you’re anything like me, you want to make everyone happy. You don’t want to be the one to make waves and make people mad at you because your low self-esteem and/or anxiety caused by it makes you believe that if you don’t please everyone and do what they want, you will lose them. Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with being a people pleaser if it’s for the right reasons. I know the thought of being all alone is terrifying, and thinking that if you don’t submit to what everyone wants from you will cause you to be alone is equally as terrifying. However, you have to think about yourself here: if whatever you’re being asked/expected to you comes at an expense to you, why would you do it? If someone's benefitting from your existence and what they expect you to do for them, chances are they're not worth it.
Anybody who would expect you to do something that does not contribute to your emotional/physical well-being or happiness is not the kind of person you need to associate with. These people are not your friends. In fact, there is a specific word for them: leeches. "Aren't leeches bloodsucking annelids," you ask? While they have vaguely similar characteristics, here's a clarifying definition for you:
"Leech (n.): a person who clings to another for personal gain, especially without giving anything in return, and usually with the implication or effect of exhausting the other's resources; parasite. "
These people use your weaknesses against you to get what they want, and then throw you to the curb until they need you for something else. They are users, and to be quite honest, their behavior towards you says much more about their character than yours. You are a genuine, kind, giving soul, and you are unfairly taken advantage of. Shed these excess people, these parasites pushing you around, from your life. You don't need them!
You know, you are allowed to say no to people. The world will not end if you stand up for yourself. I realize that courage comes with confidence, but it also comes with anger. Get angry and put them in their place! How you’re being taken advantage of isn’t healthy for your emotions and you have every right to be mad about it. Contrary to popular belief, they do not own you. You should not have to feel like you aren’t more deserving of better treatment from those you care about, and all you owe them is to show them that they suck and you're not their property. You’re better than this and deserve more than what you’re getting from these relationships.
Remember, you are in control of your life. You control what you do and do not do and how you live life. Don’t let anyone else make you think otherwise because it is simply not true. Realize your potential and importance in this world, because you were definitely not born to bow down to others and kiss the ground they walk on. You’re the real queen here, so go sit on your throne and make sure everyone knows it.
