Let me be first to say that I never expected to be in a sorority. After watching all the movies based around the perfect, thin, mean-hearted girls that exist I already had my preconceived notions of Greek life before I moved to college. I will also be the first to say that Greek life is not like the movies.

I was a member of my sorority for one full year before I dropped out of it and so here I am to confess the reality of sorority life and why I made my decision. For the sake of saying what I need to without seeming like I’m pointing fingers, I will not disclose what sorority I was a part of or the names of anyone.

Now my story begins with freshman move-in day because it was then that I met some Greeks who helped my family and I move my belongings into my dorm. They were all so kind and each of them was diverse and unique in their own way. These girls weren’t carbon copies of one another like the movies portrayed they would be.

I decided then to at least try to go through recruitment week. The whole week was a whirlwind of excitement and nerves. I had no idea where I would end up if I even ended up anywhere. I tried to put my best attitude forward and pray that it worked out like it was meant to. When bid day came I was pleased to hear I’d gotten a bid and anxious to see whom it was from. I opened the envelope and was very happy with the results.

I ran to my new sisters later that day, participated in bid day activities, talked to the new girls who surrounded me and couldn’t wait to get home and tell my mom all about it. I was finally a part of something in college that was bigger than myself.

My first semester as a member was like a dream. I got a big sister, I volunteered for everything, and I even took on leadership positions. Then things began to change for me. The one thing no one will tell you during recruitment is there are normally a few bad apples in the bunch. Now my intention is not to sound mean or hateful here, but it’s simply a fact. This happens with any organization, not just sororities.

There are some girls who don’t want to volunteer for anything, that don’t act appropriate in their letters, and even some girls who are only in a sorority to get to fraternity guys. It’s like they say, a few bad apples can spoil the barrel.

It was shortly after realizing this fact that things went downhill for me. It’s like a mask had been ripped off and I could see things clearly for the first time. There was drama inside the sorority, I remember my first taste of it, and I hate it to this day. One of my sisters told me about what another sister had told her. Apparently my new hairstyle looked terrible, I’m too quiet during meetings, and it was hard to give me a big sister because no one wanted me.

This news broke my heart into a thousand pieces. This was the first time someone had said anything bad about me since high school; except in high school I didn’t care because I already had my circle of friends. In this situation I had so much love and respect for every single one of my new sisters and I tried to be kind and helpful to everyone. I just couldn’t understand why anyone would say these things about me because to my knowledge I hadn’t done anything to anyone.

I expressed my concerns to another sister and was told to ignore it because it’s just common drama. I couldn’t understand her answer because friends who are supposed to be sisters don’t say things like that about each other, especially unwarranted.

After that things only got worse. It became time for recruitment again and everyone was stressed and tired including myself. There’s so much pressure for recruitment and I guess that’s why I wasn’t too shocked when one sister singled me out by putting blame on me for something going wrong with one of my leadership responsibilities that I didn’t know was wrong because no one told me any different. I was only a first-year member and she cursed at me for a mistake I didn’t make on purpose.

I took my concern to the alumni and advisers of our sorority and although they said it would be dealt with, nothing ever happened. The sister never apologized and if anything it only made me feel like I gained more enemies by sticking up for myself.

After all of this I became this negative, reclusive, depressive person who spent so much time worrying about what others were saying about her that it was messing with my mentality. My mother noticed this change in me too. My entire personality had changed. I was no longer the happy, carefree, sweet girl I had been at the beginning of the year.

I decided I could no longer put myself through this, I needed to get away from this negative mindset, and so I dropped my sorority. I was hurt and left in an angry manner and as a result probably made a lot of my sisters think badly of me if they didn’t already.

Now let me make one thing clear. There were about two to three girls that gave me a bad experience throughout my year as a member; it was NOT the entire group. Although I know that people can lose control of their emotions sometimes it was too much for me to handle. Many other people have no problem with a little bit of drama on occasion, but I am not one of those people.

Overall, sororities are a good thing. I know a lot of what I previously said was negative, but that’s not the entirety of my experience. The things I focus on now that I look back are that I met some of the most amazing women I will ever know. I got to volunteer my time to help others and I was a part of a group of women who when it really came down to it was there for each other. I laughed, smiled, danced, and sang with over 40 other women while trying new things and going new places. I learned a lot in my time from it including who I am and what I want out of life.

I originally joined a sorority because I wanted to make a difference and belong somewhere and have people who care about me. I ultimately found all of that in my life without the help of the sorority, but I take all of it as a growing experience.

Although I didn’t stick around I am still grateful for all the memories and the lessons and I truly wish all of them the best in the future. My purpose for writing this article was not to bash my ex-sisters or claim to be some victim. I could have let all that drama go if I had been a strong enough person, but I wasn’t, and that’s not their fault.

My message to all other sororities is to think about how you treat others and how you present yourself. Before you say something about another sister, think about what it would be like if what you said caused her to leave. Wouldn’t it hurt your organization to lose a valuable member?

When you join a sorority it’s not just about you anymore. It’s about your sisters and your university. If you can’t properly represent those two things then why are you a part of it? A sisterhood is more than letters on a shirt; it’s something that nestles a place in your heart and stays there, even when it gets broken.