Confessions Of A Former Fat Girl
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Confessions Of A Former Fat Girl

It's about to get real personal.

2785
Confessions Of A Former Fat Girl
Tessa Dobrow

I used to be fat. Not the "oh she's so chubby and cute" fat. I'm talking about being a 180 pound, five foot two, 11-year-old fat. I always dreaded going to the doctor and I remember during one visit they weighed me and said I was borderline obese. That was basically my body throughout childhood.

Eventually, I lost the weight, healthily with the help of my parents, through good old-fashioned diet and exercise. Middle school was a big transitional period for me. I lost a few pounds each year but my big transformation was the summer between eighth grade and high school. I remember I stepped foot into my ninth grade homeroom and kids whom I'd known almost my entire life barely recognized me. At that point, I had lost almost 60 pounds in less than three years and grown two inches taller. I was no longer at risk of being obese but my body image issues had just begun.

I remember ninth grade being the first time I found myself attractive. Boys who used to make fun of me for being fat suddenly were hitting on me, which as you can image became extremely problematic mentally. More so I had this idea that to be beautiful you had to be thin. That dangerous mentality wasn't true back then, nor is it true now, but as a young 14 year-old-girl who suddenly got a bunch of positive attention from her new thin body, it seemed that there was no other way.

One of the many problems that began to develop is that I never thought I was thin enough. I constantly was trying to stay at my ideal weight and would take drastic action if I gained a pound or two. I refused to eat, or would only eat the tiniest portion until I got back to "normal."

At one point, I limited myself to eating only 600 calories a day. According to a health class I was in at the time, a person was considered to be anorexic if they ate less than 500 calories a day. I ate 600 so that I wouldn't fall into that category. Any nutritionist could tell you that this still was not sustainable, and I actually ended up gaining a lot of weight through not eating because my body was going into starvation mode.

Jumping forward to my senior year of high school, the idea of "thick" woman being attractive came into mainstream society. At this point, I had gained back about 15 pounds and was at a peak in confronting my body image issues. I loved the idea of being thick because it comforted me by opening my mind to other body types being considered attractive. However, a big problem I had with this idea is that for the most part our society heavily praises only certain types of thick woman. Thick thighs, thick butt, boobs but nowhere on Instagram will you see praise for a thick stomach or arms for example. It's selective. In that sense, it's no better than praising skinny woman because now it's considered unattractive to have a flat ass.

I could go on extensively about this topic and my experiences with weight and body image, perhaps I will in later articles. These are just a few thoughts from my own personal experiences. I'm not a doctor, I'm not an expert so feel free to take everything I've said with a grain of salt. I still struggle with my weight and body image every single day. Most women do, most women always have, there are many men who have too. It doesn't get easier as you get older. I'm just as hard on myself now as I was when I was 14. What changed is my mentality towards the situation.

When I was 14, I wanted to be skinny because I thought it made me desirable; to friends, to boys, to society. I got positive attention from it and it fed this a need of acceptance inside of me. As I reached adulthood, a big epiphany moment for me was learning that attractiveness is entirely subjective. Yes, there are societal ideals, but those truly don't mean anything. Corny as it is, what's more important is finding the beauty within yourself, which is a lot further than skin deep.

Now when I'm looking at my body I focus on my physical and mental health. I work out because it's an actionable thing I can do to take care of both my body and mind. Like I said, it doesn't get easier, but what has helped is directing my focus towards being happy with what I see in the mirror, without regard for anyone else's opinion.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Olivia White

"The American flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies from the last breath of each solider who died protecting it."

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Separation Anxiety in Pets

Separation anxiety in pets is a real thing and recognizing the warning signs is important.

195146

Since March, Covid-19 required most of the world to quarantine in their homes. Majority of people ended up working from home for nearly five months. This meant pet owners were constantly with their pets giving them attention, playing with them, letting them out etc. Therefore, when the world slowly started to open up again and pet owners began returning to normal life work schedules away from the home, pet owners noticed a difference in the way their pet acted. Many pets develop separation anxiety especially during this crazy time when majority people were stuck inside barely leaving the house.

Keep Reading... Show less
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

358365

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1760435

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

1115302
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

993518
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

653290
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments