I have red hair. Well, it’s actually strawberry blonde, but I can hear my friends all groan and snap “you’re a ginger,” while reading this. Strawberry blonde is really red too, but I use the label to distance myself from the ginger community (if there even is a ginger community).
My hair is the color of Satan’s soul, so it obviously stands out. It is the first thing people usually notice about me, and almost everyone feels the need to comment. Older people love my hair, and usually say something like “I wish I could take you to my hairdresser and say: this is what I want!” or “I would kill for your hair color,” and I kind of worry I might see them crawling through my window at night with a pair of scissors. People my age don’t have the same creepy admiration for my hair; instead, they usually make a not-so-clever joke, maybe calling me a vampire or demon.
Being a redhead means you have a pretty hard life, so I thought I would put together some cool facts and slight advantages we possess (get it? ‘Possess,’ because we are possessed by the devil) to make your sad ginger life a little better…
Only two percent of the population are redheads.
Red hair and blue eyes is the least common combination in the world.
Ancient Greeks believed that redheads were vampires.
It is reported that Hitler outlawed redheads from marrying each other so they wouldn’t litter the world with more demon children (nice try).
Redheads are more likely to get stung by bees.
The gene that makes someone have red hair is a mutation, so redheads are really mutants (like we needed another name to be called).
Redheads have less hair on their heads than blondes and brunettes, so you can look forward to balding if you hate your hair that much.
Prince Harry is a redhead, so you have something in common with him.
Red hair never turns gray.
Red hair is harder to dye, so you’re pretty much stuck with it.
If you ever want to sell your hair, red hair sells substantially better than any other color.
Redheads require more anesthesia than other people.
Red hair home-coloring kits are purchased more than any other color. Shout out to the fake gingers.
Redheads change temperature faster. This makes you more sensitive to temperature than other people, so you can blame being freezing on your hair.
I love my hair, and I feel lucky to be a part of this weird subculture. The jokes and teasing growing up has just made me care less about what people think of me. My friends always add at the end of every redhead insult “but I would kill you if you ever dyed it,” so I know everyone loves my Satan hair deep down. I may not be able to wear red, orange, yellow, or anything neon, but I guess being a redhead isn’t too bad.
