There are some things that people say, and they think they are compliments but really they are just microaggressions that perpetuate racism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, etc. So be careful to avoid things like this.
"You’re so pretty/ smart/ articulate/ for a black person." Okay but that's not a compliment because you’re implying as a black person they are inherently ugly, unintelligent, uneducated.
"You don’t seem/ sound/ look gay." That doesn’t make me feel good about myself because you're not only saying that all gay people look and sound the same but you're implying it's a bad thing.
"You’re so light skinned! I thought you were mixed." When you say this to someone you're not only saying that being darker skinned is less appealing, you're also saying that the only way to be fully black is to be dark skinned.
"You’re so masculine for a gay guy!" By saying this you are putting down all feminine gay guys and you’re perpetuating the shame put on feminine men by the straight and the LGBTAQ+ community.
"You’re so pretty for a lesbian!" Um, stop. You’re doing that generalizing thing again, implying that all lesbians are ugly, or butch, stop that.
"You’re so tall for an Asian." Really? Did that sound like a compliment when it came out? Stereotypes don’t make friends.
"You don’t act black." Literally what does that mean? Blackness is not a personality trait. what is being black? You’re obviously an expert. (you're not. Don’t say that)
"You sound/ act so white" Don't say this to anyone, ever. You are basically saying that being civilized, educated, articulate, well mannered, all are "white" attributes. You're contributing to white supremacy and I'm going to have to ask you to stop.
This is not all of them by far, just the predominant ones. Things like this perpetuate so many hateful stereotypes and the worst part is the people who say them don't even realize what they are really saying. Think before you speak, please. Respect people who are different from you.
