I have always enjoyed getting compliments, even if I don’t always know how to react to them. It’s just nice to hear that someone noticed that you put the extra time and effort into getting ready, planning a party, doing your final project for a class, or studying for a test. When you go above and beyond the bare minimum, even if only just a little bit, and someone acknowledges this effort, it justifies any extra work it may have required.

In terms of getting dressed or made up, I’m typically more of the bare minimum type. I am quite possibly the farthest thing you can find from a morning person, and I often happen to be running late (and by often, I mean always!). When you put these two pieces of my personality together, it is a wonder that I ever make it out in public with more than a bed-head style and pajamas. But, luckily I have the process of getting ready in the mornings down to a science, which I can proudly say only requires all of twenty minutes. This means that I can savor those few extra minutes of sleep in the morning.

So when I do take the extra time to try and look a little nicer than usual, I really do appreciate when people notice this and compliment me on it. It’s actually a pretty guaranteed way to make me like you more, to be perfectly honest. But there are occasions when the additional time and effort yields comments that are more creepy than complimentary and that sends me back to a week or two of nothing but leggings and long, baggy shirts. Why can’t you just say that you like my outfit instead of saying that my legs look really long in the shorts I’m wearing? The latter just screams “creepy” to me.

So why is there such a discrepancy with how people comment on others appearances? And what distinguishes what is solely complimentary versus what is creepy? True compliments are remarks that lift you up and make you feel better about yourself, whereas creepy comments make you feel objectified and subsequently degraded. If you are dressed nicely for a formal and the same guy repeatedly “compliments” you on how you look or how much he likes your dress, then he just may have crossed over into the creepy realm. The first time is nice, but the fourth is just too much and seems to have an ulterior message.

If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, you do not have to tolerate it, even if it seems like they are trying to be nice. All too often we feel obliged to slap on a fake smile and just deal with such things. In doing so, we continue to subject ourselves to the same uncomfortable scenarios involving catcalls, etc., and allow the people forcing these comments upon us to think that treating people this way is acceptable. A never-ending cycle is created, and I am sure I’m not the only one who feels it needs breaking. I want to live in a world of genuine compliments regarding the way I look, or more important things like how intelligent or how hard-working I am. I’m well past the point of tolerating creepy comments from people who only see me as an object that needs dressing up.