How Complaining Constantly Can Affect Those Around You

How Complaining Constantly Can Affect Those Around You

Is there such thing as complaining too much?

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If we don't complain how can we voice our dissatisfaction? I do believe it is important to share your opinion but there is a line people should draw in the sand when it comes to how much you're complaining and about what. It really bothers me when people whine about the same thing over and over again. We have all had that friend who complains constantly about how much their significant other sucks but ignores your relationship advice and then complains about them again the next week.

You can even make friends through complaining, if you're in a super long line and you turn to the stranger next to you, next thing you know you're bonding over the dreadful wait. Living in Arizona, I hear people whine about the weather all summer long, as do I. It any easy way to break the ice or just avoid awkward silence. Think about it you walk up to your friend who you sit next to in class and go "man its freezing out." Complaints can come naturally.

Some people could argue that those complaints about the weather or a long line are positively associated because we can start a convo or even make a friend out of it. I'd say that there is really no point in complaining about silly little things you can't change. I think it's pointless to focus on negative little things like that and it just wastes your energy. But hey, since I am someone who complains to break the ice, it would be better to say that we should just do it less.

There's also that redundancy in people complaining about things they can change. We complain constantly about something that we could do something about in order to change it, so why not just do it. I always like to live by the motto; You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. It's pretty easy to complain about things that we want to be different instead of just making it different. You have the power to change your life and complaining isn't the answer, the action is.

Even if we can't change things that we don't like sometimes, like how long a line is or how hot it is outside, we should be more mindful of our attitudes toward it. If something is bothering don't focus on it as much and try and revert your attention to something more positive. Life can make it pretty difficult to have everything be to your liking but something you can control is your mindset. Too often when people get upset by something minuscule, whining about it can quickly turn into getting excessively upset over the situation. I'm not saying that people shouldn't complain all, that will never happen. What I am trying to get at is that people should be more mindful of the negativity they feel because complaining could affect your happiness and also those who listen to your complaints.

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.

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Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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