Comparing yourself to someone else is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s natural and should happen. It just means that you are self-reflective and want to accurately evaluate yourself.
Although, when we put ourselves through comparisons, we end up in judgment and the compulsive need to gauge where we are based on what others doing. When do the comparisons lead to a downward spiral of self-doubt, a lack of content with oneself, and the need to constantly point to our flaws and defects?
The human mind is designed to quantify everything. We want to coordinate our files, ensure that we have a ‘certain’ rank and measure ourselves in the overall scheme of things. People may not admit openly, but it is extremely common to evaluate your own worth. And while it’s a normal thing to do, it’s often a losing battle.
For example, when you ask how someone is doing, they won’t answer: “I just failed my Physics Exam, I have ridiculous friendship problems, and basically…I can’t look good in shorts…or anything for that matter! (OK, maybe that was over said.") Rather, they will tell you they are “okay," “fine," or “great." People have a tendency to portray their lives better than they actually are. Again, human tendency.
But maybe it’s time we stop continuously falling into the tail-chasing frenzy of unhappiness or the emotionally dangerous trap of comparison. We need to redirect this energy to achieve our goals and be the best version of ourselves we can be. Let’s start to channel this comparison in a positive light.
Change is the only constant thing in this world—we’ve heard this many times over and we know it’s true. Who you are today is a result of your past experiences and decisions. It’s also true that we are always in a constant state of creation; we continue to expand as people. Our personalities, approaches in handling situations, and even music preferences are all example of things that are fluid in nature.
So, when you catch yourself setting your benchmark against someone else as a way to determine your worth, take a moment. Breathe and realize that you can only line up your successes and failures to one person. And that’s you, darling.
Ask yourself: Have you become a better, new and improved version of yourself? What steps have you taken to engage in more positive behavior? Have you pursued new interests or passions?
We come into the world different and go out different. We come in with different intentions and expectations through our various life experiences—so we can only think about how honed we are becoming in comparison to the masterful creation: ourselves.
Be you and be beautiful. It doesn’t ever matter who is the best ‘pre-med’ out there, the sleek Vice President at work, who has gone to ten different countries over twenty days, or who has the highest pay. It will never matter if you’re in the arts stream or science, a left-brain or right, or if you like your coffee black or not. So, let’s stop stigmatizing and telling our kids to be more like someone else’s child. Don’t expect your girlfriend to have a Victoria Secret body—she’s perfect the way she is. There is no need to hold yourself to unnecessary standards set by society.
You’re you, and there is nothing—I repeat, nothing (not even Mr. Sharma’s kid who is studying Engineering at Harvard who all the aunties and uncles love) that is bigger and better than you.
