Comparison. It’s something we’ve all experienced and it comes in two forms: Self-comparison and the comparison that is placed upon us by others. Both types of comparison are destructive to our mental health and wellbeing, but the most difficult part is learning to overcome them in order accept yourself for who you are, where you are in your life journey, and understanding that YOU are the only YOU.

Self-Comparison

Self-comparison is the internal struggle of comparing yourself to the others around you, something I catch myself doing every day. The only result you will ever achieve from this is the feeling of inadequacy, the feeling that you are not, and never will be, good enough.

“If only I looked like him/her.”

“If only I was confident like him/her.”

“If only I could be as popular as him/her.”

“If only I was as talented him/her.”

Statements like these seep into our minds and confine us. They keep us down and feeling like we will never be content with who we are, but something we all have to remember is that everyone is different. No two people are the same. We are all on different journeys and it’s kind of insane to judge our successes and failures on someone else’s level of success and failure. People are not grading scales; they were not created for us to measure ourselves up to. We were created to lift each other up; to love others and ourselves.

Comparisons made by others

The comparison that is placed upon us by others is wrong because it is unwillingly done so. And comparison is CONSTANTLY being thrown at us.

“She’s just not as good as everyone else.”

“Too bad she’s not pretty like everyone else.”

When we let others speak these lies over us, we begin to believe them. When we begin to let other people’s definition of perfection weigh heavily on us, we lose who we truly are. Comparison not only makes us feel inferior, but it also limits our ability to grow and succeed. The comparison that is cast up on us by others can contribute to the deconstruction of our self-confidence, self-worth, and self-belief if we let it. Recognizing that it’s only true if YOU start to believe it is the only to decipher the words we hear about ourselves every day.