The story we tell of ourselves is usually untruth made up of mostly truths. We say that we are too busy or not good enough to be the person who makes the project or does the thing. I tell myself this all the time. Last fall I was creating four to five videos a week for my YouTube channel but after I took a break for the holidays in December I lost my motivation and excitement for making them. I uploaded maybe once a month during the spring semester but I was bored of what I made and felt too busy to make an effort in bettering my content.
I’m still not sure if I want to spend my time and energy on making YouTube videos but I am now working towards that decision. I know that part of making something and making it well is to really commit to it. So I’m at the crux of do I or don’t I. Do I commit to making something everyday that won’t bring me anything but the joy of having made a thing?
Now that I have asked myself the truest question, my mind is screaming YES back at me. That is the truest answer and I know that when I commit and do the work that is entirely for my own pleasure, then I will start telling a truer story of myself. I will actually live against the untruths I tell. I am not too busy (though it will still feel like it). I am the person who does the thing (though I won’t always feel like I am). But what I do know to be true is that living against the things that aren’t true about yourself is the best way to prove to yourself that you can do anything. So I’m going to end with a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons Podcast that I meditate on constantly: “All procrastination is fear.” And to that I will add, so go and do, because if you don’t the untruths you tell about yourself will become true.
