I want to be a writer, which isn’t exactly a predictable job. It doesn’t make a lot of money, but it is my dream. At Emerson College, I am chasing that dream and for the most part, it is going pretty well. I already have one published book, and I am constantly writing and creating which is something that I feel as though I have struggled with over the past few years. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I can actually call myself a writer again.
Now, all of my friends at Emerson have told me how impressed they are with my accomplishments. Again, I got a book published, but I have also won writing contests in the past, and I used to write things online that now have over 4 million views and they keep going up every day. Although that is very impressive to some, there is one particular group of people who do not find any of my accomplishments very interesting at all: my family.
That isn’t to say that my mom and dad don’t care that they can say that their daughter is a published author. It is just certain people in my family who think that they are more “sophisticated” than a grungy little artist like myself. A lot of people look down on artists and like to call them insane. Words such as “freak” and “weirdo” are thrown around whenever people who are not associated with the art scene talk about others who are.
I come from a family of business degrees. Nobody besides myself is an artist of any kind, especially on my mother's side of the family and with the holidays coming up, I figured I would write something about what it is like to be the black sheep of the family. Ever since I was a kid, I had trouble fitting in at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any other family gatherings that would take place over the course of the year.
On top of being an artist, I am a huge introvert. I can be social, but that also involves me being in a comfortable enough situation in which I can be social. If I am not comfortable, then I retreat immediately and look for the nearest book to read. I would much rather read than socialize in a situation where I do not feel comfortable, which to a lot of people can be seen as rude. I never intend to be rude, but when I do not feel comfortable, then I am not going to open up and just start talking to people. So that is already making me seem like the odd one out without even looking at the fact that I am an artist.
So, when I say that I am going to an art school to pursue my dream of being a writer, I am greeted with the usual “oh, that’s nice!” or “oh, that’s interesting!” The one thing that I also get that pisses me off more than anything in the world is “Oh, well so-and-so just graduated from *insert college name here* with a masters in business and he is taking over the family business” which basically says to me “Your cousin is more successful than you will ever be because you’re an idiot for trying to pursue an art.”
Keep in mind this is something that I have had to deal with for most of my life whenever the holidays roll around. Now, this isn’t to say I hate the holidays. I love Christmas time more than anyone else you will ever meet. I see a Christmas Tree lighting on TV and I lose my damn mind just because it’s Christmas. What it does mean, though, is that I hate being put down because I love my art and I want to make something with it. I want to make a living out of what I love to do. Hell, I could get paid bullshitting essays for the rest of my life and I would be happy (and, considering I have been doing that since my freshman year of high school, it wouldn’t be that hard.)
So, where does this leave me now? Well, what I have learned over the past few weeks or so is that there are going to be people who look at what I accomplish and just shrug and say “okay, good for you” and that is perfectly fine. I can’t expect everyone in life to be astounded by the things that I do. To other people who might struggle with being the black sheep of the family like I do, I would say this: think about those who do appreciate your art. Think about the friends who smile and freak out whenever you accomplish anything. Also, think about how happy it makes you whenever you accomplish something, big or small!
