I am absolutely livid, and by livid, I mean I want to rant to you people about the injustice that has recently been bestowed on me! As I further my trek into mortality with social media as my guide, I stumble upon a familiar sight on Snapchat. An article by Vulture, the bastard love child of the New York Magazine and BuzzFeed. This article, of course, was about the topic that has this country in shambles, "Why Are Spongebob Memes So Fun?"
Well, I'll tell why they're so fun, and why Spongebob is so meme-able. All those questions are answered in my article here on Odyssey, "The Success of Spongebob Memes". As you can believe to my constant approach to avoid confrontation in all aspects of life, I was absolutely appalled to see my article on Snapchat. So appalled, that I complained to a total of 47 people and only received one response where I was asked for money!
I try so hard to find content to post on this coveted platform. So I understand if you have to resort to a different platform for inspiration. But out of all the damn articles, you choose mine? I mean, I get that I have the talent of Shakespeare's left earlobe(Which is still a lot of talent) or the social influence of a Happy Meal, but this is ridiculous.
An article about Spongebob memes? That's like me stealing an article about "The Top Ten Things You Can Pour Water On". It has no impact on anyone, and that's the kind of content I'm working hard to make my trademark! Listen, I'll let you judge for yourself reader I've always felt a personal connection to. Each of the highlighted words will be a link to my OG article, and the other being the link to the article Vulture released two months after I've written mine.
They are pretty similar, but it's the embodiment of how you let your friend borrow your homework and tell them to switch up the answers. In all seriousness, Vulture...I need a job. I obviously write good content that you desire and I can write them in a more self-involved and snarky manner.
And if this somehow gets to headquarters, I will take back everything I've said about you 30 sentences prior. If not then I will lead a one-man army powered by sweet tea and an overwhelming lack of self-confidence that will probably need the assistance of a therapist.
Deep down I just want to skyrocket to an easier life, you know, just like every other living person. And hopefully, this article can do so. In all honesty, the next time you want to steal something from me, you ask me for permission to steal it first! If anything this gave me some of that self-involved mediocre content I'm looking for.
And it gets views because I'm genuinely this problematic and find myself subconsciously putting myself in situations where I can't win...But that's beside the point. Vulture, I'm coming for ya! And be prepared for absolutely nothing to happen and to continue with whatever you were doing in your million dollar industry.