I remember driving home from Marble Falls, Texas, where I had spent the previous five weeks working as a junior counselor at summer camp. It was the summer after my senior year of high school, and as soon as I exited the wrought-iron gates of camp, turned right onto the main road, and turned on whatever staticky Texas country radio station could be received in those hills, I started to bawl. In less than a month I would be leaving my family, friends, and entire life of 18 years for one that is a thousand miles away. In less than a month I would begin my freshman year of college in Chicago.
I knew no one in the Windy City. I had no idea what sort of trials and adventures were ahead. To be honest, I didn't think too critically about my decision to go to Chicago. I knew that I wanted a change in scenery, and the glittery sheen of the "anything is possible" mentality of every big city affected me as much as anyone. So, I said goodbye to what I knew in exchange for what I didn't, and that is the advice that I will impart to my grandchildren on my death bed:
Step out of your comfort zone.
The phrase "social anxiety" gets thrown around pretty often, and that is because the majority of people in this world are affected by it to some degree. Experienced even in a small degree, the fear of rejection makes it difficult to "put yourself out there." If it's necessary to mentally prepare in order to say "here" in roll call at the beginning of class, how is making the decision to experience a whole new culture on the other side of the world possible? Or to work up the courage to speak to a new group of people? Or go to college in a new city?
My solution is to click "purchase" on a one-way plane ticket and say yes before I can talk myself out of it.
Fast-forward to now, which is just a few weeks shy of exactly three years later. I start my senior year in September, and while I have reached capacity for the number of majors allowed to a student -- and if that doesn't exist, it probably should -- I have never looked back. Yes, I have cried, cursed the city and its wintry cold and made more than my fair share of mistakes, but I wouldn't change my mind if given the opportunity.
Being uncomfortable and scared allowed me to grow outside of who I was when I entered college, and thank god for that. Simply allowing oneself to experience something new allows for a completely new future to emerge.
Warning: cliche ahead.
No good thing in life comes easy.
I can't imagine how different I would be as a person had I stayed in Texas, or even chosen a different out-of-state college. In coming to Chicago, I grew from being forced to deal with life far away from my previous support system. But, from it, I forged new relationships, discovered new passions and abilities, and knew that I was stronger for it.
If given the opportunity to do something new or hard, do it. People are adaptable creatures, meant to withstand difficulties and grow from them. A public speaking professor once told my class that no one else can see how nervous you really are, and she's right. I'm the only one who can feel my heartbeat quicken or my body temperature rise. Everyone else can only see what I'm accomplishing (through Instagram, of course).
