Ah, the Colter lot. That wonderfully free Grand Canyon University parking. The catch? It's a dirt lot. No asphalt, no concrete, nothing. We've begged for GCU to pave Colter! We even had a hashtag #PaveColter2k16. So why won't GCU pave our free parking? Here are 27 conspiracies.

1. They hate construction. (Ha, that's funny. This is Grand Construction University.)

2. It's a sacred burial ground.

3. They don't want to commit to a free, paved parking lot.

4. They get commission from tire companies, so ruining our tires is a business decision.

5. It's actually preserved land for a rare species of antelope.

6. There's a secret underground tunnel and paving it would limit entryways.

7. Brian Mueller has a secret passion for dirt parking lots.

8. Colter has really been under construction for 3 years.

9. They're trying to win the world record for longest time period of parking lot construction.

10. They hate us.

11. They're trying to get us to pay for parking. (RUDE!)

12. They have an issue with putting up construction that's in our way. (Ha. No.)

13. They think it's really funny to watch students stumble through the dirt lot at night.

14. The money that would be used to pave Colter is being used to pay for "free" shirts, post-soccer game fireworks, and outfits for Thunder.

15. They're going to turn it into a building anyway, so why pave it?

16. They think that paving Colter and getting rid of the dirt and rocks will take away from the "authentic Grand Canyon vibe."

17. If they paved Colter, then GCU would be perfect, but we know that only Jesus is perfect.

18. They think their Lopes will feel more at home in the dirt than a paved lot.

19. They want to appeal to all the students who like to hike.

20. The famous GCU cats live in Colter and Brian Mueller doesn't want to pave over their home.

21. They want us to experience the vague struggle that is mentioned in most worship songs, and making us walk through Colter is as close as they could get.

22. For those weekends you have too much homework to drive up to Sedona, driving around Colter for a bit will give you the same offroading experience.

23. By paving Colter, we might lose part of our identity as GCU.

24. The bumpy lot of Colter forces bad drivers to slow down. They're really trying to help us out.

25. Because pouring that much asphalt onto Colter would turn Phoenix into a casual 149 degrees in August during Welcome Week.

26. So they don't have to unpave it when we (inevitabley) expand.

27. Ever seen an Arizona sunset? They're beautiful because of all the dust in the air. Thanks Colter!