There is no crime in being single—in having always been single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

There are very few high school relationships that last; those rare high school sweethearts that make it, in the long run, are very blessed. Most of high school dating is a game of fitting in and being just like everyone else—“the cool kids date, so I should too.” Really, not dating in high school has saved you (and me) a lot of heartaches. This is not to say that high school dating is bad or wrong; I’m just saying that it’s not necessary.

Being single is actually very beneficial. It allows you more freedom and independence to better understand yourself and to explore your own dreams and desires before adding someone else’s into the mix. How can you take part in someone else’s dreams and desires without really understanding your own? When you do end up dating, you’ll be a lot more confident with what you want and need.

Being single also gives you the chance to invest in intimate friendships that you otherwise wouldn’t develop. Friendships can be just as beneficial (or more so) than romantic relationships. Need someone to lean on, to understand you in all your crazy, to not run away on the bad days? That’s what true friends are for—and close friendships tend to last longer than most romantic relationships. You should not ever underestimate a good friendship.

People in relationships are not necessarily happier than people who are single. You can be just as content and happy single as you can be in a romantic relationship. The reverse is also true. You can be just as miserable in a romantic relationship as you can being single. Being in a romantic relationship is not going to suddenly and magically cure or solve all your problems. “Happily Ever Afters” also don’t work the way all the fairytales and stories would have us believe. Relationships are a lot of work - you have to take into consideration not just your own dreams and your own problems but also your partner’s, and that’s not a bad thing because two heads are better than one and all that, but there is a reason for such a thing as “timing.”

Dating is a lot about getting the timing right. You’re not always going to be in a good headspace for a good, healthy relationship. There have definitely been moments in my life where I strongly desired to be in a romantic relationship (especially because all of my friends were), but looking back, it was a good thing. A romantic relationship would have added a level of stress and distraction in my life that I was not ready for and probably still am not ready for. Dating is partly a waiting game, so don’t worry if you haven’t had the chance yet

From One Single Person to Another

I promise there is nothing wrong with you or me, and our time will come.