We all know and talk about the importance of self-love, especially in our social media filled society. A lot of what we base our own personal self-perception on is the amount of likes or followers we receive on posts. Our current technological world is centralized around an egotistical approach of gratification and acceptance from others on personal statuses and images. The focus of generations is becoming so overwhelmingly focused on online personas that some forget to realize the importance of feeling confident and happy in real life rather than just virtually displaying it.
I know I have personally struggled to reach a place where I could say I was perfectly content the way I am, but now that I have reached that place, I have come to reflect on what I define self-love as. I realize that many other people struggle to find peace in who they are, so I asked to see what others found to be a definition of true self-admiration. My personal definition would be to work to make yourself the person you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be, and once you've found that balance and respect for yourself, then what others think is completely irrelevant.
A feeling of true self-love is gratifying, but simply put, it is challenging for most to find. Fortunately, self-love has many definitions, you just need to find your own.
After asking 12 college students to define self-love using as many or as little words as they feel truly gives their personal definition justice, these are the responses I received...
1. Independence is a key player
"My own definition of self-love would be being independent enough to
not care what other people think of you. Being your own person, going to places
on your own, not looking at likes/followers on social media, not being
dependent on someone for approval of things. Don't let people think for you.
Self-love is having your own approval of who you are."
- Allie, 20
2. Happiness is in your hands
Giphy"Understanding that you control your own happiness and others do not."
- Max, 20
3. No flaw can bring you down
"Self-love is when you are able to be completely comfortable with who you are on the inside and outside. You have accepted any flaw you may have and don't let any flaws define you, instead you love everything about what makes you who you are."
- Brianna, 20
4. You're a boss a** b****
"Loving yourself and feeling confident in the person you are, and knowing that no matter what you think, you're a boss ass bitch and you don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're confident and happy when you look in the mirror."
-Paige, 20
5. Self-acceptance is necessary
"Self-love is having the ability to focus and love all aspects yourself. This means having the ability to have self-respect and self-acceptance."
- Arianna, 18
6. Understand your worth
"I think self-love is not only feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin, but having self respect for your body, values and self as an individual. I think it's the practice of respecting yourself in order to create happiness within yourself and an overall state of well-being. It's understanding your worth through integrity, responsibility and appreciation of your body, values, etc."
- Lauren, 20
7. Keep your head up
"I would say not putting yourself down."
- Jenna, 22
8. Self-reflection required
"Self-love is taking time to reflect on what your mind and body needs and doing everything you can to take care of them. It means accepting every part of yourself, or at least attempting to make a conscious effort, and not comparing yourself to others."
- Liv, 20
9. No approval needed
"Something about not needing others approval for what one likes or dislikes about themselves, but enjoying your personality and sense of self, how it is and how it changes."
- Joe, 20
10. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
"Self-love is taking care of your mental, emotional and physical health and ensuring that you respect yourself as much as you respect others."
- Ellen, 20
11. Constant improvement #IgnoreTheHaters
"I think self-love is the pursuit of constantly trying to improve on how you perceive yourself to be. Ameliorating how you feel both emotionally and physically lies at the core of self-love. In its most basic sense, self-love means never sacrificing yourself for anything. But expanding on that idea, self-love could also incorporate self-criticism which could lead to strengthening aspects of oneself that you previously thought to be weaknesses. In doing so, you improve who you are as a person, achieving the initial goal of emotional and physical validation. Most importantly it's insulating yourself from allowing negative influence from the outside affect how you treat yourself."
- Qwan, 21
12. Be true to yourself
"Self-love can be defined numerous ways depending on your personal situation and life events. Being true to yourself and remembering to put yourself before others can be challenging in our current day and age since many people would consider this a selfish act. I do not see this as selfish because if you do not put yourself first and remember to invest time in yourself, who will? Lastly, self-love is putting yourself first and striving to be the best person that you can produce, no matter the situations God may throw at you."
- Sean, 22
