"So, what do you want to do when you grow up?" a woman asked me a few weeks ago. I twisted my wedding ring as I thought of a good answer. The woman was a good twenty years older than me, so I suppose that I seem young. And I am. At 21 years old, I am starting my last year of undergrad studies. But, I also have been living in the adult world for more than three years. I work, I pay my bills, I have a car loan, I'm married, and I am facing the reality of infertility and baby fever. By all means, I am an adult.

However, we live in a society that encourages young adults, especially those in college, to essentially extend their teenage years by asserting that they are still dependent on their parents for livelihood and by asserting that they are irresponsible. If I had a dollar for every form that I have filled out (or paper or policy that I have read) regarding my college experience that mentioned or implied that I was still under the household of my parents, I would have enough money to pay my car off. I am the leader of my campus' Students With Children group (long story), and am organizing a regional conference in the spring regarding pregnant and parenting students. As I've been searching the websites, I see search result after search result of groups for parents of college students through the universities. Almost every college has tips for parents of college students. When I went to Student Orientation three years ago, I was encouraged to bring my parents. I love my parents very much, and enjoy living less than 5 miles from them. However, my parents did not pay a dime for my college experience. My husband and I are putting me through college by earning almost enough scholarships to cover my entire tuition, student loans for study-abroad trips, and working to pay bills. I ended up going to college in my home town, a school which my mother is an alumni from. However, my parents did not try to heavily influence my college decision one way or another. That was on me.

Now don't get me wrong, my parents are great. I talk to them often, and even get to do fun things, like go to a concert with my mom. They just realize that I am an adult and believe that as such, I have adult responsibilities that I need to learn how to manage. They're still supportive and will listen if I call after a bad day. And I do still have one of my insurance plans through my dad, because he pays a flat fee. But overall, we all understand that I am an adult.

Back to the university. Remember how I found so many pages and resources dedicated to parents of college students? Guess how many schools has resources for -or even acknowledged- students who are pregnant or have children. Not many. There are some schools that provide services for pregnant, parenting, working, or married students under Non-Traditional services, but these are usually limited to a certain age range. People forget that there are 20-something-year-old students who are married, who are or will have kids, who work full-time. I was told by several people on my campus that I am not a non-traditional student although I work roughly 30+ hours a week, am married, am financially independent, and am trying to start a family. All because of my age. The university focuses so much on "traditional" students that it leaves everybody else in the dust. And if it does provide attention to other-than-traditional students, then it is geared towards older students who are second-careers. The truth is that young other-than-traditional students often get ignored because we don't fit the mold of a traditional student, and we somehow aren't as awe-inspiring as older students. We are a class of semis.

This belief that young adults are basically slightly more responsible teenagers is perpetuated by society at large. The media portrays us as hard-partying, promiscuous, idle, wealthy, and dependent. I'm here to prove it all wrong, to break the mold, to challenge the stereotypes. For how many forms through my college want me to inform my parents about something or to give their information, for how many times people have showed shock (and disapproval) that I'm married and am working on starting a family, for how many times people ask me what I will be -not when I graduate- but "when I grow up". For that staff member who asserted that I am less of an adult than them because of my age, despite my responsibilities. For the lady in Walmart who gives me dirty looks as I browse the ovulation tests despite the ring that I am twisting on my left hand. For the people who want me to wait before entering grad school because I am too young. Remember this: maturity and age do not necessarily correlate.

Timothy 4:12 (NIV)

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.