Time and again we come across those little comments Our parents make that leave us to wish they could just understand our point of you. A college is a place where you're pushed to find yourself. Whether this is who you are as a person of society, or who you are when it comes to family orientation, or who you are as a working adult. This past week I had just gotten home for summer break and a few other conversations I’ve been having with my parents just come across as tedious and unnecessary. I was surprised when I talk to my friends about it and they had expressed that this was crawling under their skin too. To any parents of college students, you may want to take these next five tips into consideration once your child comes home from break as well.
1. We already know about our responsibilities.
We already know responsibilities and don’t need extra anxiety in addition to them. Telling us that we have something due before the end of the semester or that we still need to do our laundry and go to work, I can get under her skin really quickly. Although we may be messes, most called students tend to live successfully out of the family house. We’ve established our own schedule for when we want to address our responsibilities (whether that means it’s in the house or out). If we seem lazy, chances are we’re trying to establish what our new routine is going to be for the time being, until we go back to school. Either way, reminding us of what we need to get done unfortunately doesn’t come close to helping us or motivating us.
2. Our friends are also a priority.
Whether this is derived from actually hang out or FaceTime calls, hanging out with our friends is the most vital towards our mood and sometimes even mental health. We understand that family time is equally as important, but you should also understand that friends are a priority. Learn to simply respect that we like to see our friends and that’s a priority we can’t explain. If we were dorming the previous semester chances are we hung out with her friends starting around 12 at night because that’s when we finished all her work for the day. This pattern may continue now that we’re home so seeing them may be late at night or early in the morning. After all, we spent almost all of our time with friends or doing homework back at college. Complaining about how much time we spend with our friends, how much time we spent on FaceTime calls, how much time we spend on social media won’t do any of us a favor. Just as long as there is an even balance between both types of social lives, there shouldn’t really be an issue.
3. We're aware of how much we are changing.
College students are basically thrown out into the world with whatever they’ve been taught growing up. Sometimes, that’s enough. Other times, there is room for improvement. What’s important to understand is that many students come back with more developed opinions that don’t always comply with the structure grew up with. Where in the midst of trying to figure out how to build ourselves as adults and how to hold onto the right parts of our youth. The only way this is going to happen is we’re given the room to form our own opinions and allowing us to learn on our own when we can do what we want. Often times it’s hard for college students to go back to living with their parents just because of the tendency parents have to constantly instruct their kids on what to do. Just keep in mind we know how to be our own beings by now, even though it doesn’t always seem like it.
4. Privacy is vital.
Yes, of course, you want to know everything that your kid is doing. The protective instincts override any other mantra that’s running through your head. However, you need to be careful because lurking deep into what your child is filling their time with can only hurt your feelings in the long run. As a parent, you're not going to agree to everything your child does, associates with, and talks about, however, let them show you the parts of themselves they want to. If they want you to know something they will let you know. However, we're adults now (or at least trying to be), we should be allowed the privacy to do what we need to do.
5. Stop comparing us.
Trust me when I say, most of us are fully aware we're trash. The college environment has changed a lot and is far more competitive than most middle-aged adults remember. Studies have shown that high school students have anxiety levels that would've put them in a mental institute back in the 50s. How do you think college students must feel? If our teachers and counselors aren't constantly reminding us that we don't know sh*t, our grade definitely will. Being around friends can also remind us of how much we should be doing. Therefore, reminding us that we should be more like a cousin from our mom's side of the family to outshine our cousin from our dad's doesn't help our individual success at all. We already know we're most likely not good enough for most of our goals and need more support than comparisons.
