It is easy to say that as we age we are consistently wanting to be on a different journey in our lives. As a kid, I couldn't wait to grow up and be on my own. Now that I am at that age, I just want to go back. I remember beginning college and just thinking to myself how quickly it'll go by. How one day you'll wake up and it'll all be different. As I sit here on my first day of classes Monday, August 28, 2017, I do not know what to expect. I am beginning my last fall semester of my undergrad and potentially my last fall semester as a student. I am excited and nervous all at the same time.
Part of me can't wait to leave school and begin my life in the outside world. The other part wants to go back and be young again and maybe enjoy life a little bit more while I could. I am excited to be taking the last few classes I need for my degree, and come May, walk across the stage and receive my "fake diploma," till the moment months later when I finally receive the real one in the mail. It will be a proud day, showing that no matter what I have gone through these past years I have persevered and finished strong.
At the same time, I don't feel ready to go out on my own (this maybe more of a fear than an actual reality.) I feel like there is so much more that I could do and I almost don't want to leave. Don't get me wrong, the idea of no longer paying thousands of dollars to receive an education will be gone, but the looming debt from college loans will come knocking. I'll just pray that when that day does come I'm not home.
I'm finally a senior, but at the same time, I wish I could go back.
I don't know how it all went by so fast-- I'm no longer that weird freshman. This year is going to be a challenge in all aspects. This year will be the first time I will not play soccer since I was 4 years old. Physically I can no longer play, but mentally I don't believe it. I missed pre- season and was partially distracted by work and the stress of school beginning. But as I settle back into the comforts of school, I notice it now.
I may not be able to rewind time, but what I can do is make the most of this year. Make the memories count and the fun times last. Work hard and achieve goals while also taking a second to breathe and take one last look around. Four years goes by quick. Hopefully, I can slow this last one down!
