Walking into move-in day was an exciting and terrifying prospect for 17-year-old me. My dad had come to help move my stuff into my dorm and I knew a few people from high school across the hall. The only thing I was dreading was meeting my unknown roommate for the first time. What if she didn’t like me? What if she was messy? What if I was messy? (Turns out, I was- but that’s beside the point.)

As I entered my would-be home for the next 9 months, I saw she was already moved in. We said hello and I went back to unpacking my stuff. Everything was fine until I said goodbye to my dad and realized once I got back to the room that it was dead silent. She wasn’t saying anything and I was a small, terrified girl who wouldn't speak up. So sat in silence. Awkward, soul-crushing, silence.

Turns out, this was going to be our relationship for next year.

We never even had a full conversation. The most we ever talked was when we accidentally had to cross paths and I would say sorry, that’s how bad it was.

Over the next few weeks, I realized she wanted nothing to do with me. She liked to hang out with her old high school friends and go to parties and have way more fun than I was ready for, apparently.

Months later her best friend even decided to move into the room attached to ours. It. was. great. Non-stop smoking, drunken nights, parties, crazy people, loud music, ya know, the college experience, right?

I should let you know I was not into the “college” scene at the time and watching my roommates get drunk 4 out of the 7 days of the week deterred me even more. They would bring people over at 3 a.m., turn on all the lights, and allow anyone to come into my room.

I even would sometimes be woken up in the middle of the night to strangers in my room and the thumping of her bed against the wall. The best earplugs in the world couldn’t save me from that wonderful experience.

Some nights they would just be crying or fighting or screaming and I couldn’t sleep. So, I would take my phone, go to my guys’ friend’s dorm room, and sleep on their floor. They would toss me a blanket and I would finally be able to get a few hours of sleep. Honestly, those boys saved me.

But the worst of all was during finals week. I was in the bathroom after getting done with my first college final and heard her best friend come into her room. I wasn’t ease dropping per say, but I overheard her friend on the phone with my roommate’s mom. Turns out they had to go to court that morning for a hit and run and my fav roomie GOT ARRESTED.

And to make matters even better, I also found out that my roommate had already been arrested once before and now was being detained again for who knows what. And that was while she was at court for another felony. Honestly, it didn’t even surprise me.

So you’re probably wondering why I would put up with this for a whole year.

I was a scared little freshman who didn’t know how to stand up for herself, waiting for someone else to do it for her. My parents had always been there to speak for me when I didn’t want to, whether it was ordering food at a restaurant or when my friends and I were in a fight. This was the first time where it had to be me. I had to do something myself- and that terrified me, more than my roommate.

This isn’t supposed to scare you high schoolers soon-to-be freshman in college. It’s a lesson. Learn from me. Stand up for yourself, talk to your roommate if something is not okay, and use your voice to make things happen. College is your time to be on your own and a time to see what you're capable of. (And maybe have a little fun too.)