It doesn't seem like it's already been four years since I graduated high school. It also doesn't feel like I've already been through four years of college. With the end of my college career drawing near, I have to stop and think, what comes next?
Do I continue on with my education? Do I get a job in the real world? Do I wander aimlessly around the country "searching for my purpose"?
The closer graduation gets the more I feel totally lost about what I'm supposed to do afterwards. Now I know a lot of people usually plan ahead and set up jobs before they graduate or they apply to Grad school. Not this girl. Nope. I'm going to wait until the day of graduation to decide where I want to go and what I want to do. And if you ask me on that day what it is I want to do or where I want to go, I still probably won't know.
I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually, but for now it is literally a constant thought in my head and it kind of stresses me out. Most of the people I know that have already graduated either have jobs, kids, or are in Europe, backpacking up the coast. How did they get there? Maybe it was a spur of the moment decision or maybe it was a plan they had had all along. Either way, it does not coincide with the plan I have, which, at the moment, is nonexistent.
I mean really... I just decided what I wanted my major to be my senior year of college. Don't ask me how I worked that out, but I did. Now I have to decide what I want to work towards for the next 30 years of my life. I have goals, I have dreams, but do I want to pursue them as soon as soon as I get out of school? I don't know.
I just really don't know. If I've learned anything as a college student, it's that it's totally okay to not know anything.
I look at older people around me and I'm like, "Wow, they really have it all figured out." Chances are they don't, but it's nice to think at least someone has it together since I don't. I long for the day I get it together, but like I said, chances are, that won't actually ever happen. But that's okay.
Graduation doesn't mean you have to have it all together, it just means you're one step closer to living a life you can be proud of. Maybe you already are living a life you are proud of, but if you're not, don't be afraid to change that right now. Even if you are just a week away from graduation, it's never too late to choose to live the life you want to live.
Maybe I will go travel the world, maybe I will get this awesome job right out of college, maybe I will stay at home, drink wine, and eat Cheeto puffs all night every night. All I know is, at least I'll finally be done with school.
