To whom it may concern,
I was once in your shoes, sitting alone in my dark, cold dorm wondering, "Did I choose the right school? Is college just not for me?" I would have these recurring thoughts almost daily my first semester of college. Don't get me wrong, I had some pretty awesome friends first semester, I just never truly felt like I was where I needed to be. Sure, there would be days where I'd go out and have the time of my life, but 90% of them consisted of me regretted submitting that initial deposit, securing my spot on this college campus.
The night before I was heading back to school after winter break, I broke down for hours on end in my room at home. I cried and cried to my Mom about how I made the wrong choice, and how I was hopelessly trying to find my purpose at this school. She told me no matter where I am, I will find "my group". At the time I thought she was completely bullshitting me, as I had already tried time and time again to make countless amounts of friends back at school, after only finding about five or six good ones after being there for a solid four months.
Fast forward to returning back to school after break.
I felt drained about school, emotionally and physically. I was not ready to spend another four months here, crying, again and again, every night.
But something changed.
I walked back onto campus and was immediately greeted by people who I had yet to grow closer to at the time. They asked if I wanted to get dinner together, and I happily exclaimed, "Yes!".
They asked me to hang out again, and I invited someone completely random who I met on Instagram. She said yes.
They both asked to hang out again. I then invited some of my ex-sorority sisters. They said yes.
And then we hung out again, and again, and again. And I went to bed happy every night.
I then started realizing why I was so miserable last semester. What made it so difficult was that I didn't think I had truly found myself yet. I tried to be someone who I wasn't for months, solely to impress people who shouldn't even matter, and that's why I spent night after night crying to my Mom over the phone in my dorm.
I started hanging around people who made me TRULY happy, and I can genuinely say I now feel so much better waking up every morning. I look forward to seeing my friends every day, and being able to be my true and embarrassing self around them, no judgment following.
So, if you think college isn't going as great as you anticipated, put yourself out there. Ask the girl you sit next to in class what her favorite movie is, ask that girl who you aren't super close with if she wants to get lunch, go dance at a party with a bunch of your ex-sorority sisters. You never know how much true friends can change your life until you simply say, "hi."
Love,
Emma
