Why College Isn't Meant To Be The "Happiest" Time Of Your Life

Why College Isn't Meant To Be The "Happiest" Time Of Your Life

... because that will come much later on.
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If you are a college student, you know all too well how valuable time is. Whether you are planning on staying in school for two years, four years, or much longer, a college experience is one that comes about only once in a lifetime.

Before you get a taste of this experience, others probably told you that college “would be the best years of your life,” and they weren’t wrong. College, and all that it entails, is going to be something you remember forever. The places you go, the people you meet, and the things you get involved in are irreplaceable, however, this does not mean that it will necessarily be the “happiest” time of your life.

College is a time of fun and games, but also a time of stress and uncertainty. Each and every day can be a new challenge for some people. As a freshman, the adjustment of living from your safe-haven house from home to your own little dorm room with a stranger can be a scary and nerve-racking process. Odds are you don’t know anyone, don’t know your way around, and are stressed with classes and homework on top of this. The following years come with even more unpredictability. The responsibilities pile up as you move from the dorms to a house and, all of a sudden, you are in charge of paying bills, doing laundry, cleaning everything, and maintaining a social life. Throughout all of this, the hunt for jobs and internships become fierce and competitive, while you also have to stay on top of your newly hard classes and projects. The overwhelming nature of college is one that is frightening, but that should not stop you from attending such a marvelous and sensational place because college is when and where you make your very own home away from home.

Through the stress and the tears and the all-nighters of schoolwork, you become who you are. You learn your boundaries, and then adjust them when you are ready to grow. You take risks that you never would have before. Whether that be going out for a club you always wanted to be a part of, or asking that boy or girl you have a crush on out for a date. It is an emotional roller coaster that has its fair share of ups and downs, but is something you should stand in line in and experience because it is one hell of a ride. The inconsistency and variability of life is not something to back down from, but to take advantage of. There will never be a time again where you can encounter all of your potential at the tips of your fingers.

College isn’t meant to be “happy.” College is meant to be exciting, scary, risk-filled, and mistake loaded. It is meant to be unstable and rapidly altering. So, if you are struggling, or something seems out of place, remember there will come a time in your life where stability and happiness triumphs all. Until then, know that college is meant to be terrifyingly beautiful. Accept it, embrace it, and thrive in it; you will never get the chance to do so again.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Gaslighting Through Generations

It happened to my grandma, my mom, and even me… who will put an end to the cycle?

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Gaslighting by definition is manipulating someone to question his or her own sanity. Manipulation is an odd concept because ultimately, as humans, we are all capable of it. Each and every one of us has, in fact, most likely manipulated someone in our lives whether we knew it consciously or not. There are two types of manipulators as far as I am concerned. There is the everyday manipulator who is blind to their manipulations, and then there is the master manipulator; the one who is calculated in their manipulations. Both should be equally feared.

I watched my mom quite literally be lead to insanity by my father. He had everyone in our lives believing that my mom had lost her mind… and in a way, she had. I saw the life drain from her slowly as she began to believe his manipulations. Yet, I saw the insanity overtake her when she realized what had really been going on. When she finally understood, that's when you believed my father the most. A master manipulator: calculated, precise, knew exactly what he was doing.

Fast forward to ten(ish) years later and here I am… in front of a man I know deep down within me is gaslighting me. However, he is not the master manipulator. He is just a man who needs control. He craves the power over me that no one in this world has. He tries to make me out to be insane, irrational, immature. He wants me to believe these things about myself… and if I were a slightly different person he may just drive me to that same insanity. But I refuse to believe these things.

The things that this man tries to force me to believe about myself… they are his own demons. These are the characteristics that embody him, not me. He projects them onto me because he has yet to see that they haunt him. I will not lay down and believe these things simply out of my love for him. It is out of love that I refuse this. Love for myself.

The gaslights do not burn me down, they simply light my way. So who will end the cycle you may ask? Those who know how to manipulate fire. Those who do not easily catch flames, but instead conjure them. The only person inside your head is you; never forget this.

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