To start, the commonly misinterpreted term “hook-up” is a huge gray area, to say the least. It can mean anything from making out, to having sex, or anything else in between. It can be a reference for what you did last night, or the person you may have feelings for but will never admit to because you’re too afraid that person only considers you as a “friend with benefits.”
From my perspective as a sophomore, it seems as though one of the highest concerns for students—in the running with maintaining a passing GPA while still being able to party on the weekends—is catching up on the gossip of whom is “hooking-up” with whom, and what “hooking-up” means physically and emotionally for their own relationships.
In college, the idea of meeting someone that you are interested in, perusing him or her romantically, and going on to having a committed relationship feels like something of the past, or only seen in the movies. I feel that most people around this age have found normalcy in the reality that most romantic relationships for college students rarely have clarity, and are usually in a limbo of confusion and uncertainty.
What do I mean by hook-up culture? With the effects of drugs, alcohol, hormones, and the ultimate pressure to always have a “hook-up buddy” or “friend with benefits,” students are falsely convinced into believing that sex is no big deal, but rather something that “everyone” does. Within one night, relationships go from 0 to 100, a stranger becomes a hook-up, and the concept of “getting to know someone” before hooking-up with them seems so foreign that it’s put into quotations.
On the other side of the spectrum, while hooking-up seems so unnatural when you really think about it, I am not a huge believer in serious romantic relationships during college, either, and not just for the same cliché reasons that college should be about “having fun” and “finding yourself." I don’t necessary believe in serious college relationships because, in reality, is it human nature to be committed to someone at such a (relatively) young age?
College is full of distracting attractions to other people. I feel as though within the college hook-up culture, every flirty conversation with someone for the first time, every drunken make out, and every late night text message comes a curiosity with what the other person’s intentions truly are. You may be left with questions like: What are they looking for? How interested are they? Is this a one-time thing?
Because of the casual hook-up culture that many colleges have, these questions may never be answered, or ever even asked. Romantic feelings are often confused with general physical feelings of attraction to other people. With college being a time when you are constantly conflicted and forced to react to these feelings of attraction, how is it even possible to stay so committed to one?
Of course, like anything, there are exceptions to the rule, and I can easily think of many serious college relationships that have clarity, and are truly happy, healthy, and overall just easy. However, when only looking at the rule, a majority of people engaging in a hook-up with someone they meet for the first time do not have the intentions of perusing that person in any romantic direction afterwards.
But if serious college relationships are so difficult (and maybe even unnatural) and one-night stands have become too common, what is the happy and appropriate medium between the two? With this pressure of hooking-up, students miss out on just making new friends—the relationships that ultimately are so much more important and worthwhile than random hook-ups will ever be.
Imagine all of the friendships missed out on from the pressure to hook-up. Imagine all of the possible romantic relationships developing from those friendships—the way it should be—if there wasn’t such a normalcy in getting drunk and hooking-up during your college years. Hooking-up may seem like the natural way to end the night because it is what we are used to; however, is it really normal?
