To The College Freshmen Who Don’t Understand The Party Scene Either

To The College Freshmen Who Don’t Understand The Party Scene Either

Honey, you're not alone. I get it too. And we're gonna be just fine.
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My first few days on a college campus have been, needless to say, extraordinary. College life is crazy. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s incredibly overwhelming. Your first few days before classes start are all about getting to know campus; your classes, the people around you, the dining halls, your dorm room. Some people right now are having the literal time of their lives and they couldn’t be happier. Others are miserable and just want to go home or go back to high school. A lot more, like me, are a complete mix of the two; you’re happy and really enjoying yourself but you also miss home and are a bit overwhelmed.

But one thing for sure is that coming to campus can mean getting quite a culture shock.

By this I mean, the culture of frat parties, darties, drinking and being all-around lit af all the time. To be quite honest, I knew this stuff existed and I was actually kind of excited to be a part of it; I just didn’t expect for it to start so soon, and I definitely did not expect to end up hating it.

The night we got here, everyone seemed just like me and ready for the ultimate college experience. As soon as I said goodbye to my parents, I got busy decorating my room, because I thought that was what you were supposed to do. My hall mates, instead, got ready to go to frat parties. I was a little surprised, because I didn’t even know how they found out about these parties and I wondered how they had the stamina to go to them that late at night, because I was quite honestly exhausted. But they all had an amazing time, and it sounded like a lot of fun. The next couple nights, people were going out all day and all night, and it sounded like I was missing out by not being there.

Me being me, with my incurable case of FOMO (the fear of missing out), I decided that I should check out the party scene too. It was much earlier than I was really expecting to go to parties; I expected that I would go at a time in the semester when I knew more people at the party than just my roommate and another friend. But I decided to go anyway, because clearly, everyone else was having so much fun.

So, my roommate, our friend and I ventured out to the frat scene. We walked the streets of Ann Arbor until we found ourselves off-campus and slightly lost, and little bit (okay, very much) impatient. It took us about an hour to even find a frat house that was open and would let Freshmen in, because of course, Freshmen are the bane of all upperclassmen’s existence. When we finally found one, we walked around to the back of the house, where we could see the basement lights flashing and hear the base pumping. We stepped inside the house and the first thing I felt was the awfully sticky floor. Then, the smell of alcohol and vomit hit me. Disgusting. All three of us did not look like we were enjoying the moment at all.

But it’s college!! This is what you’re supposed to do. Isn’t it? I could sense that this was the thought process in all of our heads. We stood there for a while in the doorway of the frat house, just kind of staring at each other. We asked each other if we wanted to go downstairs, and everyone’s answer was the same “I don’t care, whatever you want.” Typical of college freshman and the lackluster peer pressure of trying to fit in, of course. I decided the best option was to literally flip a coin. Heads, we go in; tails, we leave. I asked Siri to flip a coin for us.

Tails.

Thank God.

Siri looking out for us. We all looked so relieved. We walked back to the dorm and had a night in with some really cool people from our hall playing x-box. I definitely enjoyed myself so much more just hanging out in a small group setting than being in a room full of strangers dancing with people I didn’t know at all.

At least I discovered early on that the frat scene isn't for me. While it’s probably super fun for many people, I just don’t enjoy it.

And that’s OK.

College is a lot of things, but most importantly, it’s a place for you to finally be you. That means figuring out what you’re into and what you’re not into. That means finding people who are into the same things as you. That means not being judgmental of other people’s choices, but not feeling pressured into participating in them either. So, even if it seems like “everyone’s doing it,” you have to remember, especially as a college freshman looking to fit in and find a place, you do not have to do what “everyone else” is doing. It’s completely acceptable, and in fact encouraged, to do your own thing, be your own person.

If all else fails, remind yourself of your priorities. You’re there to learn and to get a degree, right? So, if what you’re doing is going to make you unhappy and have a tougher time with that goal, it’s probably not the best idea.

Whatever you do, just have the courage and conviction that what you’re doing is what you want to do and is right. If the voice in your head is telling you no, you should probably listen, because no one else, not your parents or professors or friends, is going to. Just make smart choices and do what makes you happy.

Cover Image Credit: Total Frat Move

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50 One-Liners College Girls Swap With Their Roomies As Much As They Swap Clothes

"What would I do without you guys???"
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1. "Can I wear your shirt out tonight?"

2. "Does my hair look greasy?"

3. "We should probably clean tomorrow..."

4. "What should I caption this??"

5. "Is it bad if I text ____ first??"

6. "Should we order pizza?"

7. *Roommate tells an entire story* "Wait, what?"

8. "How is it already 3 AM?"

9. "I need a drink."

10. "McDonalds? McDonalds."

11. "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED."

12. "Okay like, for real, I need to study."

13. "Why is there so much hair on our floor?"

14. "I think I'm broke."

15. "What do I respond to this?"

16. "Let's have a movie night."

17. "Why are we so weird?"

18. "Do you think people will notice if I wear this 2 days in a row?"

19. "That guy is so stupid."

20. "Do I look fat in this?"

21. "Can I borrow your phone charger?

22. "Wanna go to the lib tonight?"

23. "OK, we really need to go to the gym soon."

24. "I kinda want some taco bell."

25. "Let's go out tonight."

26. "I wonder what other people on this floor think of us."

27. "Let's go to the mall."

28. "Can I use your straightener?"

29. "I need coffee."

30. "I'm bored, come back to the room."

31. "Should we go home this weekend?"

32. "We should probably do laundry soon."

33. "Can you see through these pants?"

34. "Sometimes I feel like our room is a frat house..."

35. "Guys I swear I don't like him anymore."

36."Can I borrow a pencil?"

37. "I need to get my life together...."

38. "So who's buying the Uber tonight?"

39. "Let's walk to class together."

40. "Are we really pulling an all-nighter tonight?"

41. "Who's taking out the trash?"

42. "What happened last night?"

43. "Can you help me do my hair?"

44. "What should I wear tonight?"

45. "You're not allowed to talk to him tonight."

46. "OMG, my phone is at 1 percent."

47. "Should we skip class?"

48. "What should we be for Halloween?"

49. "I love our room."

50. "What would I do without you guys???"

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Gabaldon

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some Thoughts from an angsty College freshman On a Walk in a time of turmoil

What is this life thing, anyway?

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My first year of college was a challenging one, both academically and emotionally. I loved it, don't misread me, but it was difficult. I learned a lot about the world, about culture, about love, about other people, and of course, about myself.

I remember one evening in late April, walking back to my dorm from the gym, admiring a gorgeous sunset. The weather was warm, and the orange light of the 6:00 PM sun projected majestically against the stone walls of Hughes Hall. I was deep in thought, and probably listening to some fake-deep music that matched and encouraged my already angsty mood. It was a mood I'd experienced before--it was one that stemmed from heartbreak.

I walked, my body exhausted, my spirit already fractured. Despite my downtrodden mood, I couldn't help but admire the beauty of the scene around me, which contrasted so heavily with the dark, viscous ooze of pain and unhappiness that seeped ever so slowly through my soul. How can there be so much beauty, both man-made and natural, in this world, but so much illness and pain and unhappiness, too?

I gazed past the gates of my prosperous, somewhat pretentious University, to see people struggling, begging for a meal or for money to afford a place to stay the night.

"Why does everything need to be so complex?" I remember inquiring to myself. Why can't we all just coexist and be happy? When did we have to implement all of these rules? Borders are a manmade concept. So is currency, and with it wealth and poverty. We're all human. No human is more important than other humans. This should be simple, right? Everyone should be able to eat. And have access to water, and healthcare, and education, and the other human rights and necessities that they're entitled to.

Don't the innocent deserve to be happy? And I suppose one can argue that everyone can be happy the way things are if they work hard, or whatever. But how can everyone be happy when only a few have access to the tools that make happiness achievable? And I know money doesn't buy happiness. But I'm not even talking about riches for everyone. All I'm saying is that innocent people do not deserve a life of desperation, of hunger and thirst, of poor health, of homelessness.

I would get over my heartbreak, and return to my ordinary, privileged life soon enough. I had a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a wardrobe that was deeper than necessary, all the technology I needed to be successful, and everything else I would ever need. I had the best friends I could ever ask for. I didn't need anything else.

But I still ached for the people who lack those things. The people who try and try to better themselves and their situations, but are stuck. It should be simple. Laws are manmade. They're not the same as morals. Crossing an invisible, imaginary line isn't immoral.

Everyone has only one life. No one can change that. So let everyone enjoy their life. And let yourself enjoy yours. It's simple, really.

Cover Image Credit:

Photo by Reynaldo Brigantty from Pexels

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