It is much more common in college now to hear the words, "We're just hanging out," when someone asks about the new guy you've been spending so much time with. It's a shame though that most of the time that's a complete lie. "Hanging out" has become code for "hooking up" and that is essentially all people do today in college. What ever happened to people getting into monogamous relationships?
There are many reasons why people choose to have "things" with people rather than getting into a relationship. Some people are just not into settling down with someone, and others are too afraid to admit their feelings to someone because of fear of rejection. Nobody likes to be rejected by someone, especially if they have a ton of feelings for them. Being rejected sucks, for lack of a better term.
Relationships are a lot of work, everyone knows that. But how can you get into a relationship if the person you like has no idea that you like them? Running in circles and beating around the bush leads to fighting, awkward conversations, and maybe even heartbreak if you let it go on long enough. People avoid responsibilities and reality when they act this way, because they feel that if they ignore the issue at hand for long enough it will just poof away like magic.
Unfortunately, feelings aren't like magic. They're real.
If you are the hopeless romantic that wants a serious relationship in college, you can't be giving your heart to anyone who gives you attention. You are wasting your time when you do this it could lead into you being the person searching only for flings. If you're the type that never opens up, you are cheating yourself out of true happiness. Telling someone how you feel about them should be a great thing, not terrifying.
Not knowing where you stand with someone is one of the worst feelings you could have. If you don't know what the late night conversations or cuddling means, ask. Speak up. What happens when you're falling for your best friend faster than a hot cake? Do you tell them how you feel or do you sit there and keep quiet for the sake of keeping them in your life? Some people will argue that you should absolutely take the risk. Sometimes the strongest relationships are formed from a strong friendship. Other people will argue that this is a risk you should never take. Sometimes friendships crumble the minute feelings are spoken about. Either way, you have to do what your heart tells you.
Open your mind and heart up. Love is a wonderful thing to experience, flings are not. Having a "thing" doesn't always end where you'd like it to be so the next time you are asked about that boy you've been hanging out with, think hard about what you want and then decide.
