With the activities fair coming up and several clubs advertising for auditions, first-years are preparing themselves for what college is obviously all about—joining extra curricular organizations where you find your friends and true passions that you will participate in throughout college!

Well, I have a little message for all of you: That probably won’t happen.

I know I sound like a cynic, but hear me out—that probably won’t happen, at least, not in the way you think it will.

I always encourage everyone I know to really put themselves out there and take a risk, whether that be trying out for some sort of performance group or joining a club that may not be in your usual realm of experience. It’s so important to try new things and give opportunities a shot because you never know what can happen!

However, giving things a shot doesn’t always work out exactly as planned. You may not get a callback for that dance ensemble you admire. Or maybe you do get a callback for your favorite a cappella group, but they end up accepting someone else. Maybe the sorority you desperately wanted to be a part of does not give you a bid. It's frustrating, it's heart-breaking, and it can make you feel worthless—like all your plans of being a part of something were crushed and thrown out the window.

Here’s the thing: Although it may seem like failure, none of that matters, because your clubs (or even lack thereof) do not define you.

Just because you didn’t make it into the dance group doesn’t mean you aren’t a talented dancer. Just because the a cappella group chose someone else doesn’t mean you have a bad voice. The clubs and organizations you join or do not join while on campus do not dictate your talents, passions, or aspirations. This is an important notion many first-years lose sight of in their rush to find something to fill their extra time.

Freshman year can be a scary period full of trying to figure out who you are, what defines you, what makes you uniquely YOU. Being “cast out” from groups you thought were made for you doesn’t help. But when one door closes, another one opens!

I know from experience how hard this transitional time can be. When I was a first-semester freshman, I had so many plans! I dropped violin after playing for years in high school because I was certain I was going to join a capella. When that didn’t work out, I decided I would be the next big improv star. When that didn’t work out either, I was stuck. I felt worthless and boring—obviously, I thought, because these clubs didn’t accept me, I was uninteresting and untalented. My mentality was that there were no other clubs for me to be a part of that would be fun and would give me a way to define myself.

I found out later this wasn’t true—the things that called out to me were hiding in plain sight and I was unable to see them because I was so hung up on the idea of being a part of something with obvious, definable traits. If I had become an a cappella member, I probably wouldn’t have joined my sorority. Had I joined the improv group, I may have never started blogging. I am now involved in so many things that mean so much to me and it's because I had to deal with a couple of setbacks first.

It’s important to try new things. But if those things don’t end up working out for you, pick yourself up and move past it—there are so many opportunities for you. You can define yourself however you want to!