After spending two years at the University of Wisconsin — Madison, visiting friends at other universities and gossiping about the guys we've met — I've decided that the best way to explain the guys you've interacted with in college is through something, like boys, most of us grow to love: pizza.
1. The 'frat star': Meat Lovers
Ever met a Chad or maybe a Brad? He always seems to be spending his time crushing beers with the dudes or body slamming tables in his free time surrounded by his frat brothers. Probably has a tattoo of his letters somewhere on his body because he's absolutely obsessed with his Greek life homies.
2. The 'all about the books': plain cheese
He has too little time to deal with adding toppings because his nose is always in the books. You'll most likely meet him at the library, but he won't have much time to chat while he's in the zone learning about molecular structures or maybe even attempting to cure cancer.
3. The 'party animal': Mac n' Cheese
You'll probably meet this guy at the bar buying drinks for everyone to make sure they have a good time. He's everyone's favorite guy to party with and, like Mac n' Cheese pizza, he's your favorite thing to see when your drunk.
4. The 'nice guy': pepperoni
He's cool and collected and pretty down to earth. Just like pepperoni pizza, it's a refreshing thing to see after a stressful day of dealing with a**holes. He might end up being your favorite pizza after college because nice guys don't always finish last.
5. The 'stoner': BBQ Chicken
BBQ chicken pizza, similar to the stoner, is something a little different and unique. You might gain some philosophical information from this guy on 4/20 or really any other day of the year.
6. The 'try hard': margarita
We've all encountered that boy that just doesn't give it a rest. You say no but the CLEAR hint just isn't received and they keep pushing for a date. Just like margarita pizza, it's something that's always on the back of your mind when ordering pizza in college, but you never actually decide to make it your order.
7. The 'athlete': sausage with red and green peppers
It's a little bit of healthy mixed with the meaty. Athletes are obviously athletic and fit. They've got the meat, or the muscles, and the health to put your attempted workout routine to shame.
8. The 'peaked in high school": sausage
Just reminiscing the good old high school party scene when someone's mom would order some nice sausage pizza for drunk kids to scarf down. He's stuck in his high school glory days and always talks about his high school athletic successes or academic standing, but unfortunately, no one in college really cares.
9. The 'genius': veggie
Like the veggie pizza makes veggies taste good, the natural genius makes every school assignment seem like a breeze. You can see him finishing up organic chemistry without even looking incredibly stressed or coding a final project in minutes when it took everyone else days.
10. The 'rich kid': Hawaiian
He's probably been to Hawaii, he'll probably show up in Vineyard Vines and Sperry's to any event, and he will most likely want to show you pictures of his family's house while bragging about how nice of a dinner he can take you on. Like Hawaiian pizza, he's got something most people tolerate, but no one really craves.
