College life in wise words of the world's best boss. From class to studying to missing out on countless opportunities for shenangigans, Michael Scott sure has a way with the English language.
Taking notes in class.
Starting off with a speedy mind and sharp note taking skills. You're on top of the world. The kid in the front row is eating a sandwich and you're staring, hungry. Now it's halfway through the lecture; you're lost and end up drawing hamburgers in your notebook.
Walking out of the lecture hall...
So you have no choice but to push your incompetence out of your mind.
Ignorance is bliss.
And start treating presentations and class discussions like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're going to get.
You'll start paying attention again when it's time for the review.
Second verse, same as the first. Distractions and a lack of motivation make it impossible to learn the material even the second time around.
And realize you need to spend a lot of time studying.
Perhaps your own personal study habits and newly improved focus will make cramming an effective form of studying.
Things get a little jumbled after a while and you'll have to clear your mind with copious snack breaks.
The brownies and Cheetos don't count when you're in study mode. Even if your snacking is ruining your beautiful body, it's giving you a beautiful mind.
While you're in stuffing your face, you'll watch your friends on their way out.
You secretly hope they'll have a terrible time without you.
Though plagued with jealousy, you'll feel more confident than ever when you return to the party scene post test-season.
Everyone missed you. Life of the party.
But until then, you'll have to bear solitude.
It's a harsh world.
You'll do anything you can to prepare for the test, no matter how ridiculous it seems.
Whether it's wearing your lucky socks, sleeping with your textbook under your pillow in the hopes of osmotic knowledge, or going on some kind of healthy juice cleanse for a clear mind, desperate times call for desperate measures.
But you'll unavoidably be drained by the time you turn it in.
Six feet under ground.
And you realize the study guide you borrowed has led you astray again.
When everyone's talking about their answers and you realize that your information was completely wrong.
Unless of course by some miracle, you come out on top.
You should just teach the class with that incredible intellect.
And you may get a grade good enough to qualify for internships. You'll have to be professional.
Unfortunately, an "A" for effort isn't enough anymore.
If you somehow secure a second interview, you'll need to prepare your responses.
Don't forget about working too hard.
Despite all the stress it has put you through, you'll definitely miss college when you're home without your school friends over break.
You'll be so excited to return, until school starts to pick up again.
Until you remember the "h-e-l-l, double hockey sticks" that is the life of a college student.