When did I start growing up?

I realized the other day that I am an adult. I pay bills. I worry about money. I manage my own schedule. I go grocery shopping. The most adult thing that I do? I’m starting to understand taxes. When did that happen?

I’ve started filling my wardrobe with more than just t-shirts and flannels. I’m buying professional clothes, and I’ve learned how to do my makeup so that I’ll be taken seriously in a workplace. I fill out job applications like they’re a hobby of mine (ah, the struggles of finding a job as a college student).

My signature is what counts now on all my school paperwork. Sometimes I feel like I’m signing my life away, but then I remember my parents have been doing that for 30 years longer than I have and it makes me feel a little better.

I’ve grown up.

And of course, I’m not a “full-fledged” adult yet. I don’t own a house or rent an apartment. I still rely on my mom to make dentist appointments for me, but let’s be real: I wouldn’t go to the dentist if my mom didn’t make me.

But I am no longer a high school student.

I don’t laugh at bad jokes about sex. I’m no longer willing to put up with jokes about my femininity – or lack thereof in some situations. I’m willing to speak up on issues that are important to me, and I won’t sacrifice my morals and beliefs to make friends. I flaunt my best qualities and work to improve myself in others.

I’m only 19 and finishing my first year of college, but I feel a world away from the seniors graduating from high school this June.

Moving away from home and attending a private university has changed me. It made me grow up and take responsibility. I set my own schedule, so it’s my fault if I miss an interview or don’t get an essay done for class. I control my school finances, so it’s my fault if I run out of Dining Dollars for buying food on campus. I am able to have a personal relationship with my professors, so if I screw up, they notice.

Somehow, I grew up. I didn’t mean to do that. I wasn’t begging to be called an adult, but here I am. Realizing that I am an adult has been one of the oddest experiences for me. I’ve been a kid for so long that anything else seems new and a little frightening. Thankfully, I’m a young adult in college, so I can still rely on my parents for help when I need it.

I’m not sure I was prepared to grow up, but I’ve found I kind of like it. It feels good to be responsible and know that I have a job because I applied and interviewed for it. Getting things done on time feels like a pat on the back for learning time management.

I think I’m glad that I’m growing up.