Moving Forward

Moving Forward

Part 2 of 2

Kyle VanValkenburgh
Kyle VanValkenburgh Jan 29, 2019
385
views

"I think so. So what have you been up to? Making more people's dream weddings happen?"

I let out a defeated sigh.

"Oh no. What did I say?"

"Nothing. You didn't say anything. Just found myself in a bit of a situation at work is all."

Brandon flashed a sympathetic smile.

"I know i'm practically a stranger, but, do you want to talk about it?"

"Everyone keeps asking me that. Well, not everyone. Mostly it's just Micah."

"Your boyfriend?"

A surprised laugh burst out of me.

"No. Micah is most definitely not my boyfriend."

"So?"

"He's my best friend. We grew up together. He's like that annoying little brother you never wanted but ended up with anyways. Love him to death but he can be a bit of a nag."

"Do you think he might keep asking because you do need to talk about whatever it is?"

I chewed on my bottom lip as I mulled over what he'd said. Maybe I did need to talk about it. Bottling it up was just stressing me out more.

"Okay. But I hope you don't have anywhere to be."

Brandon raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I thought you'd be stubborn about it. You seem like the stubborn type."

"I am but you're easy to talk to. Makes me want to be a little less stubborn."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should."

"Alright. No more stalling.Spill it."

"I have a new manager."

"And?"

"And she has no idea what she's doing and she's chasing off my clientele. I've been cleaning up her messes all week. She likes to take over at the last minute and then she nearly destroys everything."

"Have you tried bringing it up to her?"

"Yes. I've offered her help. I've tried to tell her nicely that she's lost me clients. I've tried being straightforward with her. She just doesn't seem to get it."

"Did you talk to her boss?"

"Yeah."

"I take it that didn't go very well."

"She's held a grudge against me since she found out her husband and I dated in college briefly."

"Wow."

"Yup. Not much to be done about it except try to make the best of it I guess. It's just so infuriating having all of my hard work thrown down the drain because she thinks she's great at her job. The job never should have been hers in the first place. I'm just lucky most of my clients realize that I'm not the one causing the damage to their perfect day."

Brandon reached over and squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Is there a reason you stay?"

"I love my job and seeing faces like your sister's light up on their day makes it all worth it."

"Sounds like you're in it for the right reasons."

"I'd like to think so."

"Have you ever thought about branching out on your own?"

"I couldn't do that."

"Why not?"

"I...I don't know."

"I think you'd be great and you'd have complete control."

"Where would I get the funding for an office space? How would I advertise? What if my reputation is tarnished because of this job?"

"That's just three things. You can figure it out."

"Huh."

I sat back in my chair and looked at Brandon for a minute.

"I guess I did need to talk about it."

Brandon smiled behind his cup as he took a sip.

"Now, since you've got that sorted out, would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"

"I guess I just...wait what?"

"Dinner. You. Me."

I smiled brightly.

"I'd like that. After all it is the least I could do after chatting your ear off." I teased.

"How about Saturday?"

"Oh, can't. Ice cream date with Micah."

"Friday then?"

"Friday works for me."

"I'll pick you up at 6?"

"It's a date. Oh! You'll need my number!"

I quickly scribbled my number on a napkin and handed it over to him. He entered the number in his phone and shot me a winky face text.

"So you know it's me." He said with a wink.

He planted a gentle kiss on my cheek and walked away just as Micah was heading back to my table. I couldn't help the smile that lit up my face. Micah's eyed me with a curious look.

"Who was that?"

"Brandon Madison."

"I have no idea who that is."

"I coordinated his sister's wedding."

"Okay?"

"I have a date!"

"I guess today was a success after all."


Kyle VanValkenburgh
Kyle VanValkenburgh Jan 29, 2019
At Southern New Hampshire University

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

Megan Crabb
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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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The 7 Stages Of A Breakup, As Told By Netflix's 'Someone Great'

Alexa play "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo, and max volume, please.

giannanemcovic
giannanemcovic May 22, 2019
497
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We all know how it feels to get your heart broken by a guy. Whether it be in your teens or in your 30s, everyone experiences it, or already has. After watching the movie “Someone Great" on Netflix, it hit me deep in my feels. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It made me realize all of the stages of going through a rough breakup, and I could not relate to a movie more.

1. When you first breakup and will cry about it to just about anyone

We all know that we do this almost immediately after a break-up. You are just trying to get out of the house so you go to the store, something reminds you of our ex, and next thing you know, you're talking the stranger's ear off in the grocery store for the next 2 hours.

2. When your friends call you and you say you're fine but you really haven't moved from your couch in two days and all you have done is eat two gallons of ice cream and watch "The Notebook" on repeat

"Just come do something with us, or let us come there."

"Nah, I'm okay, I actually have a super busy day today."

Yeah, if you mean busy as in binge-watching every episode of "Pretty Little Liars," then yeah, count me out of all plans so I can rewatch every episode for the next 3 weeks. We all know that feeling of not wanting to move out of bed for as long as you can after a break-up.

3. When that ONE song comes on at the mall, and you suddenly realize it was "your" song

This one hits differently. You're literally just minding your own business, trying to treat yourself to a little bit of a wardrobe change because of how sad you have been all week and BAM, it hits you like a train. Next thing you know you're crying in the dressing room of Forever 21 wondering where it all went wrong.

4. Finally caving in and hanging with your friends, realizing that this is what you needed all along

You never want to leave your bed after a breakup, you seem to cancel or bail out on every plan you try to make, then finally, after you have run out of tears, you actually follow through with a girl's night, and then you suddenly realize that all along, just time spent with the gals is what you needed. Trust me, been there, done that. In most cases, a dance party is also well needed.

5. The morning after your girl’s night, you realize that having these gals is better than the boy 

Having your girls there for you in such a tough time actually helps so much. It helps save the tears, the constant replaying of memories in your head, and saves you the time you could be wasting if you're sinking into a deep sadness over something so dumb. That support system is vital for post-breakup, and even I know that.

6. You let him go one last time

Whether it be writing a letter, throwing away all your old memories with him, or by finally getting all your clothes back from his place that have piled up over the past few months or years. It is a truly bittersweet feeling and might even hurt a little, but it's time. You're going to thrive without him.

7. You truly know how much better you’re doing without him

You have reached the point of no return. You’re finally thriving without him. You’re never going back, and you know how much potential your life has and how much better you are without him. Your heart is whole again.

giannanemcovic
giannanemcovic May 22, 2019
At University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

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