I Attempted To Replicate Cher Horowtiz' Closet From “Clueless”
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I Attempted To Replicate Cher Horowtiz' Closet From “Clueless”

I, to the best of my ability, managed to catalogue my closet to somewhat reproduce Cher's.

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DAM

If you're anything like me (someone who watches 80s and 90s movies on a loop unironically and not for the 'gram) then you have already memorized every single bubblegum-pink scene from Clueless.

I have a few favorite movies from these two decades, top five definitely including Heathers and Dirty Dancing. But Cher is so perfect a character, so hilarious a matchmaker, that I always come back to her when I need to get my giggles out.

What caught my attention, and I'm sure everyone else's, the first time I watched Clueless so many years ago was the immensity of Cher's closet. Her outfits are all perfectly coordinated — matching set or not — and she carries herself with the raw confidence of a trendsetter.

What excited my type-A, spreadsheeting-lusting self even more was the software with which she put her outfits together.

Giphy

So, I decided what any logical person with a free Sunday after taking the GRE would do. I attempted (and I might add successfully, to the best of my ability) to recreate Cher's wonderland of a closet.

First, I pulled it all out Marie Kondo style.

Jui Sarwate

This is going to be difficult because I still can't put my finger on what part of this process was my favorite. What I can say is that this is the most satisfying part of the entire experience.

I used a step from the KonMari method and first pulled out every single thing I owned from my closets and chest-of-drawers. Besides this project, I also use this method for my other semi-annual closet cleaning sessions.

I get a visual understanding of what my closet exactly is, seeing it spread across my bed (and desk and desk chair). This also leads me to become excited about my clothes once again. Part of the reason I had embarked on this mission was to realize how much I already own, and therefore do not need to buy. If I wanted something different, I could just shop my closet and wear the awesome shirt I found after months of frustrating search.

Then, I created category-based piles.

Jui Sarwate

I continued on with the sorting and piling by creating sections of clothing. The pre-sorting of the sections came in handy later when I was categorizing my closet and planning how everything was to go back in again. I also got an embarrassing idea of how many similar clothes I owned. I also found random pieces that I had completely forgotten about as they'd fallen to the back of my closet for months.

I proceeded to clean out the closet and drawer spaces.

Jui Sarwate

This was something I chose to do out of habit, but I decided that I wanted a completely fresh start. Plus, Cher would not approve of a grody closet any more than she would nefarious pattern clashing (and there, dear Cher, we would strongly disagree).

Finally, I started putting items back, section-by-section.

Jui Sarwate

I decided against just putting back clothes as I saw them, and worked my way from bottom to top and outside to inside. I started with the smaller articles such as socks, and put them back one-by-one. This also made the process so much more therapeutic as I personally delivered each item back to its little home.

It was also at this point that I held each clothing item to see if it 'sparked joy.' If it didn't, to the donation bags it went!

As I chugged along, I catalogued everything.

Jui Sarwate

Every time I worked on a new category of clothing, I catalogued it in my handy-dandy spreadsheet. This was where the true Cher magic came to life. I had created columns to account for the type, style, material, color, and amount of the article of clothing just to make the process that much more precise.

For a spreadsheet nerd like me, this was possibly my true favorite part of the entire experience, but something felt so wonderful about seeing it all reflected in front of me.

The best part? I shed about a quarter of my closet during the re-organization process and will soon be donating it to a combination of charity shops and the H&M recycling program.

Not only was I able to work on the dream closet, but I also got a clear idea of how much exactly I owned. This was an exercise in building sustainable practices and thinking as a responsible consumer. I also can check myself before I think about buying another black graphic tee. (Please don't ask how many I have; it's so, so, so embarrassing.)

Even though I might not have the PC from '95 and the software to boot, I got as close as I wanted to the perfectly-curated closet. I may be unable to pick and choose from a touchscreen selection of all the clothes I wear (until at least we prioritize our technological development towards this important cause!) but I can still glance at my closet from my phone and see what I have to wear.

Is it really so difficult to make yourself a closet just like Cher? As if!

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