Everyone's family is unique, and that's the beauty of family, isn't it? Some families are big, while others are small. Some families only see each other on holidays, while others get together often. Your family, and their unique traits, help form who you are. Growing up in a big Italian family, I got to see them all of the time, which resulted in us being a close-knit bunch. There is an Italian saying my Grandpa lived by, "Siempre Familia," which means family always. My family has always been there for me, especially my cousins. We were lucky enough to grow up more like siblings than cousins we only see on holidays. Maybe your family is like mine in this way, so I am sure you can agree that there are some obvious signs to non-family members that maybe you and your cousins are closer than most....
1. You can’t wrap your head around the idea that some people only see their cousins once or twice a year.
For you, it was normal to see your cousins every weekend or every other weekend, and you feel sad for those who are missing out on all of those memories and stories you will all be able to tell your kids someday.
2. You have a million combinations of you all in group chats.
You have the group chat with all of the cousins, just the guys, just the girls, or a combination: you guys going in on a gift together, or planning surprise visits. Needless to say you must check the members of the chat to make sure you're not going to ruin a surprise or let out a secret.
3. And if you miss five minutes of conversation in those group chats, it will be very hard to catch up.
There is no mercy in these group chats. If you start to fall behind no one is going to type any slower for you to catch up. This is where the talent of speed reading is very useful. And heaven forbid you don't read the last messages, try to jump in, and get something wrong -- they may have some choice words for you.
4. You have the same number of their college’s sweatshirts and apparel as you do your own.
You will confuse all of your friends because you have a full wardrobe of three or four (or more) colleges -- that means sweatshirt, t-shirts, workout gear, sweats, and most likely home made matching shirts you made in solidarity and support of each other at their games. Some may have actually been given to you as a gift, while others may have been stolen, or borrowed forever.
5. Any kind of significant other that comes to a family event will have a preliminary meeting with us before meeting the rest of the family.
Meeting us cousins, on the surface, can be much less intimating from the aunts, uncles, and grandparents that are also waiting to meet the new significant other in your relative's lives. I say on the surface because in my family, us cousins are the ones not afraid to speak our minds. We only want the best for our cousins and so if they can't handle us, they certainly can't handle the rest of the crazy we come from.
6. You know their house layout as well as your own.
You know where the secret bathroom upstairs is when there is a line forming at the main one. You are able to walk around their house in the dark and not run into walls. And most of all, you know that you're always welcome there.
7. And you feel totally at home there.
Why even ring the doorbell? Why ask them for a glass of water if you can get it yourself? And your cousins do the same at your house so there is no need to feel awkward or bad about it.
8. Facetime and Skype are a necessity when you still want to celebrate something together, but work and other adult responsibilities get in the way.
My family is currently in this stage. To put it plainly it sucks not being able to meet someone's new significant other, have to watch a graduation on a computer screen, or in my family, getting video-chatted in for the holiday cousin picture. The upside is that you get to look forward to your children being able to go through all of the good and bad, no matter how or young they are, with each other just like you guys have.
9. You have lots and lots of embarrassing photos and selfies to use as blackmail if needed.
All of those family events you hated, or holidays where you just wanted to sleep in, but instead had to get up early to drive to your Aunt or Uncle's house become worth it when you have a way to keep your cousins from spilling about your drunken night, or boyfriend no one knew about. All of those hours together provided enough selfies, videos, and pictures, to save you from a lifetime of secrets you want to keep.
10. You get annoyed with each other and fight.
Just like with anyone you spend a lot of time with, you are bound to argue, disagree, and get mad at each other. Sometimes it will last five minutes, but other times it may last a few days or even a week. Coming from an especially competitive family, everyone has those moments when they storm out in rage, only to turn back around because they then have no one to hang out with or no where to actually storm off to.
11. You all have your designated job in the group.
Some act as mediators, others as the planners, others as the reminders of birthdays and anniversaries. Each role is important for mayhem to not break out amongst you all.
12. You know that you are going to do everything you can to make sure you’re children are as close as you guys are.
It's sad for me now because all of us cousins are becoming adults and moving away. Holidays don't get to be spent all together, and milestones aren't always seen in person, but through a screen. It's hard, but you know that no amount of miles or time physically apart can change the relationship you guys have. And you feel lucky enough to have been brought up to have built in best friends forever. Although we are all growing up, I can't wait for the day when we get to see our children's relationship grow, just like our family has with us and we can laugh and smile when they've gone through everything we have, plus more!
