Another brand new day, this day it is raining I can tell by the sound coming from the window. I do not know what rain is but I hear it and it does not sound that good. It sounds angry sometimes and other times it comes and goes. But every time it rains and I hear that noise coming from over there someone tells me it is raining. So I know that rain is the sound that comes from the hitting the window. Sometimes it is raining and I do not hear it and then I am confused but that's the way it goes. I waited for my daily report of the outside world as I get every morning and here it is!
`"Good morning sweetheart! It is raining again today." He said. I know! I guessed that it was raining and I was right! "Well sweetie, how are you?" I really wanted to answer and scream and shout but I know I could not. I like it when he comes in the room he makes me feel so special. I hear a noise that I hear every morning he comes in. It sounds like a noise coming from him like he is saying "tch" or "ta" but I cannot figure out if it is a word or not. I wish I could see. "No, answer for me today?" he says as the voice gets further away and the noises of rubbing start to happen and that he says, "Ahh" and some rubbing and then nothing. That's how I know me wants me to answer him. He says how are you every day or how are you sweetie or what's good, you get the picture he says it every time he comes. Then he always says no answer or I was hoping to hear your voice today or something like what no answer or can you answer daddy's question. I do not know what an answer is but I really want to do it. Some days he seems mad that I do not answer him but most days he just shrugs it off and says, "Oh well that's fine." And then he just talks about him. "I am not doing well honey. As you know the money is getting tight." I do know e has been telling me for a long time now. I try to remember what he says sometimes it is hard and other times it's easy because he repeats himself a lot. "I'm so sorry honey…" he said and then this sound happened. A sound I heard a lot before. It sounded like "Ahaha." But I do not know what he is doing.
"I'm sorry that I am crying honey." Oh… crying! Of course people always seem to be crying in here and some of them said that they are sorry for crying. "But I do not want to do what we have to do today." Oh no what? What are we doing? Daddy and I do a lot together. We go on adventures with words as he tells me all the time of slaying dragons and saving princesses. Or of a shoe that does not fit the two sisters but it fits the other sister. About two kids lost in the woods. A duck that is ugly and then it is a swam. I love the adventure with Daddy but why is he sorry what are we doing today? Then I hear the other voices. "Hey, let me help you with that." Daddy says are the other voices come in.
"How is she?" the other nice voice that I remember asks.
"Good, good." Daddy says.
"Let me say hi." The voice comes closer, "Hi, Clare it mom." Duh, of course I know it is you! You and daddy and like the only voices that come every day. "How are you? Oh. You feel cold. Darling, can you get Clare a blanket?"
"On it honey!" Daddy says.
"Here you go it that better?" Mom says but nothing has changed so I am not sure why she is saying that.
"No stop that! And behave!" Daddy says and all the noise stops and then he continues, "Now say hi to your sister."
Two small voices said as that seemed to be far away.
"That's so sweet!" Mom said. "Do you hear that Clare? Your brother and sister said hi." I did! I did hear it! How could I forget I have a brother and a sister but sometimes it is hard to know that they are here with Mom and Daddy. Hi Benjamin and hi Catherine! I am so happy that you are here this morning! Catherine is a dancer and she wants to be a ballerina one day and Benjamin wants to be a football player. They do not visit as much as Mom and Daddy but they do come sometimes. "Your brother and sister love you very much." Mom says. I love them too! They are best they are usually loud and screaming so I know that they are here.
"Hello, Clare. And hello Mr. and Mrs. Harrison how are we doing today?" said a strange voice.
"Okay, all things considered." Daddy said.
"Not good" Mom said are she started to sound like Daddy earlier. She sounded so sad.
"Well it's always a tough day when you have to pull the plug." The strange new voice said. Plug? What's a plug? I don't know what a plug is? Can someone tell me? Mom usually tells me what things are but she is now screaming sad screams and I think she is crying? Is that the words I have no idea but I am freaking out now, what is a plug! Daddy, can you tell me?!?
"I think you better take the kids, Sharon." Daddy said. I hear movement. "Come say goodbye to Clare."
The two voices are moving as the door opens and Mom says, "Goodbye my sweet heart daughter. I love you." I heard that noise from before the Daddy always does that, "Ta" sound and then Mom, Catherine and Benjamin noises are gone.
"Alright Doc, I'm ready." Daddy says.
"Sure Mr. Harrison, but Clare has lived in a coma since birth. She has known nothing other than this hospital room. She will not come out of it. It has been years…"
"Stop, Doc, just stop. The decision has been made. Our hands are tied. We know you did all you could for Clare. We appreciate that."
"Okay, Mr. Harrison."
"Just let me say goodbye. Clare my sweet girl I love you so much. We fought all we could but we did not win. I failed you. I'm sorry. I wish I could keep you on until you finally woke up. I watched you be born. I watched you grow. I wish I could have seen you grow up like your brother and sister but God had a different plan. Say his to God for me."
God? Daddy only talks like that when he is sad. Why is Daddy sad?
"The deed is done, Mr. Harrison everything is off she should pass anytime now." The new voice said that after there were a lot of noises next to me. What is going on? Why is no one answering me? It is… something is different. I don't know why or how but something is different. I can't hear! But that's the only thing I can do! Why can't I hear! What is going on?
"Merry Christmas," The doctor said as he left the hospital room and a crying Mr. Harrison hugging the lifeless body of the daughter he never got to know.