Dear Mom;

It’s been three days since I moved out, and I miss you more as each day passes. It’s hard living without someone who has has such a significant, influential force on me throughout the course of my life, and I'm really feeling it. Since the beginning of our timelines, you have always put me first. You chose me at a young age - younger than you even knew better - and sacrificed everything you had to keep me. You fought for me, kept me fed, kept me well - you made sure I never went without. It isn't these things, however, that make you an amazing mother, a beautiful human being - the person responsible for all of this. It’s in that time I was late to basketball practice and didn't have time to eat anything, so you paid for my food with what was supposed to be your money for new shoes, or that day I was really flustered and anxious, and had no one to turn to. You stopped everything to make sure I was okay, and you always have. Your love can’t be described in terms of tangibility, it can only be described in feelings, in the then and now, in the force of nature that you are. Your love is what has shaped me and made me into the person I am today. Without you, I am literally and metaphorically nothing.

You are such a multi-layered, multidimensional person - you are the most brilliant person I’ve met, whether you want to believe it or not - and you impress me each day. You’ve taught me that there are no limits to love - you do what you can for those in your life whenever you can, regardless of the circumstances. You taught me to never stop fighting for what I believe in, to set goals and be the best I can be. You pushed me to be the best version of myself that I could be, and you still pushed me to do more. You’re loving, compassionate, and you deserve the world.

Times have been tough lately, and there have been instances where we haven't gotten along so well. I put up walls before I left, and I wish I didn't do that. The permanence of everything has settled in, and it all comes down to me feeling that I miss you. We have our differences, we’ve fought and said things, but I know there is nothing but love between you and I. You were always hard on me because you saw potential, because you knew that me settling wasn't going to get me anywhere. Since I was little, you’ve motivated me to try to be someone, to take risks, to not be afraid of making family and love a priority in a world where it probably shouldn't be at every moment - you always made me a priority, before all other things and above all other things.

As time progresses, my moving out will hurt less and less. You’ll find that I am growing in every way - solidifying peacefully into what you’ve helped mold over the course of my life - and that I owe every success, feeling of happiness, progression I make in life, all to you. Growing is an inevitable part of life - hell, we grew up together, whether you want to admit it or not. I watched you grow as you raised me, as you learned from scratch how to raise a child, learning what sacrifices had to be made - making more than you needed to, as a matter of fact - and just how they would pay off. You always had a hold on everything, you always figured everything out, and you passed that down to me. As I wade on, figuring out myself and how to make it through these rough waters, I remember that you were able to do it, that you survived on, and so will I.

If life has taught us anything, Mom, it’s that we are enough, we are strong, we are willing, and we are more than able to take what is thrown at us and turn it into something better. You make the best of the worst, you persevere no matter what obstacle you have to fight through, and you always manage to make it out on top. It’s made you a better person, a stronger one at that, and I know you have so much more growing to do. Keep figuring life out, it's an interesting and fluctuating thing, we'll have our ups and down, experience our struggles and fight our battles, and learn from every choice we make - each day is a new lesson, something fresh to keep us aware, to keep us on our toes, to make us better.

You've given me everything and you've made me the person I am today. I wouldn't be here without you, and I can't wait to see where life takes us next. Here's to the next chapter in our lives - to the unknown. May we embrace change and learn from it. I love you, Mom. Don't forget that.

Your son,

Christian