Chronicles Of An African Home (Part 1)

We hear often about the tales of African Parents strictness; Vines, movies and media in general do a good job in portraying the typical African life. Of course, it is sometimes exaggerated and generally considered humor except people tend to forget that for many children, it is reality. A reality that is not always humorous and pleasant. The ideal modern African parent goal for their children varies depending on the gender.

For males, sex is okay as long as protection is used and no one gets pregnant or sex is something no one ever talks about. The stand on staying out late goes in two ways: one is he can stay out late as long as there is a good excuse like late work schedule or a broken down car. The other is he can stay out late since he is a boy, he should be able to take care of himself. Things like piercing one's ear and growing his hair out is an absolute abomination because those are things females do and God forbid a male belittles himself to the extent of doing something only a female should do. I would talk about tattoos but I believe that name should not even cross my mind, although when some boys do end up getting tattoos it becomes a “well what has happened has happened” situation. In general the goal for males is to focus on just school and work, stay home and somehow graduate college with a normal social and emotional life. In addition, only major in something that promises financial stability, so you can have a big house and find a wife that knows absolute submissiveness and be happy forever.

For females, sex is just not a thing out of wedlock, because what then would you have to offer the man who chooses to marry you. Looking back, I remember thinking that after a woman has sex for the first time her vagina starts getting bad or something which explained why married men cheated and their wives were okay with it or at least just dealt with it. Don’t ask how old I was, the idea of how wrong sex is was deeply embedded in my memory for as long as I can remember. There was never the choice of not talking about it, it is wrong and that is that. Staying out late is not something any African parent is cool with for their daughters. The reasons are usually; “it is not safe,” “you cannot protect yourself” and the most famous “you are a girl.” Going out in itself is an issue much less staying out late. Going out here, is not limited to taking a walk, going to a friend's, going to a family members or a family friends. Piercings anywhere besides one on each ear is either giving the world permission to call you a hoe or a sign that you are drifting from your morals ethics and culture. The same goes for tattoos, except there is no “well what has happened has happened” situation. Tattoos is somewhat cute therefore acceptable on boys, but on girls the thought of it alone is disastrous. In general, the goal for daughters is to learn to cook, stay home except when working or schooling, no sex, no relationship but as soon as school is done and job is guaranteed, woman must find a man, submit to him sexually, emotionally, physically, financially, mentally and must make the relationship work. It’s like never teaching someone how to swim then just throwing them into the sea with sharks.

These are just little general things yet I imagine every African parent reading this and getting salty because they do not see anything wrong with their point of views. Nevertheless my next article would be a list of things African Parents need to be a lot more flexible about.

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