1. When your pal isn't as spirited as you:

"You don't smell like Santa. You smell like beef and cheese.” (Elf)

2. When they aren't cooperating:

"If you [insert action], I will never bring you another Christmas present as long as you live!” (Frosty the Snowman

)

3. When they call you childish:

"For it is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself.” (A Christmas Carol

)

4. When they've absolutely disgusted you:

"I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole." (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)

5. When you feel like being condescending:

"He's an angry elf." (Elf)

6. When they're acting superior:

"In the whole vast configuration of things, I’d say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider!” (It’s A Wonderful Life)

7. When you want to be cute and rhyme so they won't get super offended:

"You're a nasty wasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk.” (How the Grinch Stole Christmas)

8. When they don't match your enthusiasm:

"Don't you understand North Pole talk?" (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

9. When you want to Christmas insult but not be too obvious:

"[You] look like a deranged East Bunny." (A Christmas Story)

10. When it's time to call them out:

"You sit on a throne of lies." (Elf)

11. When simply calling someone a Grinch isn’t eloquent enough for you:

"Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most

disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable.” (How the Grinch Stole Christmas"\)

12. So that you can one day say, "I told you so:"

"Someday, you’re going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn’t work.” (Miracle on 34^th Street)

13. When they seem to be missing the entire point of the season:

"Whoa, you really don’t know anything about love, do you?” (Frozen)

14. When they make you feel particularly violent:

"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” (Christmas Vacation)

15. When you want to hit 'em with a classic:

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal." (Home Alone)

16. When you're prepared to end the insult with an “I actually love you” hug:

"Nobody likes [you]. Why do we have to have a holiday season to empathize it?” (A Charlie Brown Christmas)

17. When they won't sing Christmas Carols with you:

"[You're] a cotton-headed ninny-muggins." (Elf)

18. When they won't wear that itchy Christmas sweater you got them:

"There are more important things than comfort: self respect!” (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

19. When you want to impose your wisdom because they’re just not in the spirit:

"No space of regret can make amends for one life’s opportunity misused” (A Christmas Carol)