Growing up, I loved Christmas for a lot of reasons. It brings back memories of flying home to Maui to spend the holiday season with my dad and his family: singing old time classics on the karaoke machine, breathing in the sweet aroma of fresh pine in the living room, baking my stepmom's family recipe of rum cake, and the joy and warmth that came from being surrounded by the people I love. More recently, it reminds me of spending Christmas in Arizona's chilly winter: winning my first game of poker at the family Christmas Eve party, exchanging gifts with my friends after eating at Ohya, and decorating the Christmas tree with my mom and sister while our dog tries to lay underneath the branches.
I'd say that a lot of us are used to the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. We have become accustomed to Christmas light attractions like ZooLights and Glendale Glitters, smiling behind warm mugs of hot cocoa and marshmallows, ABC's 25 Days of Christmas special, and all the festivities that the season has to offer. But between the gifts and giggles, there are those who struggle during this holiday season, and to that, we should be mindful.
Now I'm not just talking about how the family needs to behave a certain way because Aunt Susie and Aunt Mary can't stand to be in the same room as each other due to a past incident where there were one too many Vodka Cokes involved. I'm talking about those who don't even want to put up their Christmas decorations because their hearts are too heavy, those who have lost loved ones close to the holiday season that the onbringing of festivities just brings them grief and acts as a reminder as to what they've lost, those who feel unwelcomed by their own family based on their political views, sexual orientation, or identity.
The emotions that are felt during this time can easily be triggered by scents, music, and tastes. The aroma of warm, sweet sugar cookies baking in the oven, the Yankee Candle scented buttered rum burning idly in the front room, Michael Bublé and Shania Twain's duet of White Christmas playing on the stereo, and the taste of assorted cheeses accompanied by slow-cooked meatballs in a savory, barbecue sauce. These simple things which may bring pleasant memories for some may also bring feelings of melancholy to another.
To be honest, it wasn't until recently that I saw the effects of grief during the holiday season. There was the year that my grandma refused to put up her Christmas decorations after losing both of her dogs, the year that my grandpa fell ill which created a very mixed cheerful energy as if it were a front to mask the sadness that came with knowing our time together was running out, and the year we lost our own pup in the wake of putting up Christmas decorations. I've experienced both sides of the pendulum, seeing how the holidays can bring an overwhelming gladness and muster up tears we desperately try to hold back.
So this holiday season, please remember to be kind. Extend a welcome to those who don't have a home to go to for Christmas, offer a hand in decorating or taking over the Christmas cooking to those who don’t have the energy to do it, and if you find that you yourself are struggling, here is your reminder that it's okay if you feel like skipping out on the festivities. If you want to learn more about helpful coping mechanisms for this time of year, you can find them here, and from the bottom of my heart, I wish you a happy holiday season!
