Often times, especially within the Christian culture, I hear women tell other women, “Oh sweetie, he’s not good enough for you." Sometimes, it is fair. Sometimes he really isn’t good enough. Maybe he’s a raging alcoholic. Maybe he beats small puppies in his free time. Maybe he prays to Satan on the daily. Maybe he’s wholeheartedly committed to being a complete jerk for the rest of eternity. There’s plenty more valid reasons.
However, sometimes this negative remark is thrown around willy nilly about guys who *SHOCKER* just aren’t perfect. They’re trying their best, but they always seem to be flawed. We get so worried about crushing the self-esteem of young girls and women, not just their body confidence, but their emotions and spirit as well. Why doesn’t anyone ever emphasize that men can deal with the same issues and insecurities? Why do we rarely notice that telling men that they have to look and act a certain way can create a lack of self-confidence?
So maybe he’s not what you always dreamed… Is that a good enough reason to blow him off? To dump him? Because he’s not perfect?
As ladies, I feel like we get so caught up in “the list” of qualities that our future spouses have to have, that we shoot down and pass over a lot of great guys. We limit their potential before we even know them. You never know how compatible you could be with someone until you try.
In our community, there’s also a lot of pressure to find “the one.” Spoiler alert: there isn’t one. I’ve heard plenty of girls over the years turn down guy after guy, because they were “waiting for the one that God has picked out” for them.
Yes, God knows who you’re going to end up with. But His will for your life is not to go on a mindless goose chase looking for a specific man. If it is His will, you will meet and fall in love with a man just as broken and sinful as you are, but with the same heart and desire for a relationship with Jesus. Maybe he’s not Billy Graham, winning over the hearts of the masses. Maybe he doesn’t look like he walked off the cover of GQ. Maybe he’s got a few bumps and scars.
But personally, I think we should give these guys a chance.
Because these are guys we can actually fall in love with.
They unknowingly allow us to be ourselves, let our guard down, and act normal. We can embrace our quirks and weirdness, because they’re quirky and weird too. These guys might be less-than-perfect, but that doesn’t mean they’re not the perfect man for you.So stop striving for a man that fulfills your quality quota. There’s a time a place to recognize red flags, but there’s no time or place to be picky. If you feel like you’ve run out of options, you probably passed over some pretty good ones.