I'm at this time in my life where girls all around me are low-key (actually probably kind of high key) starting to freak out because they're single. Like me, most girls have had this plan that they would meet their husband in college and probably have their "ring by spring." But then we look up and we're 21, going into our senior year of college, and not only do we not have a ring or a serious boyfriend, but the last male we even had a conversation with that lasted longer than ten minutes is probably related to us.
What makes this especially hard is being a Christian girl. By that, I mean that when you are a Christian girl, not only do you want the normal checklist (cute, funny, smart, has a plan for their life, gets along with our family etc.) but at the top of the list is the fact that we are looking for a Christian boy. Somehow meeting a 7 is cool, but then when you find out they love Jesus, all of the sudden they become a 10. So finding just a decent guy worth dating is hard enough, not even throwing in that they are a Christian, too.
But the thing is, I'm slowly realizing that isn't enough. It's not enough for me to tell myself that I just need a guy who believes in Jesus. I don't just need a guy who goes to church on Sunday mornings. I need so much more than that. I don't need a Christian boy. I need a Godly man.
What's the difference there?
Well, to use myself as an example, I've been a "Christian girl" my entire life. I was saved at nine years old and I went to church, I went to youth camps, and I taught VBS. I did it "all" and I was pretty good at looking like I knew what I was doing. But I was definitely just acting because I knew what it looked like to be a Christian. Behind the scenes, I had no real relationship with Christ. But when I got to college I truly made my faith my own. I began to truly walk with the Lord and understand His true purpose for me. I have my daily quiet time and am truly putting my future in God's hands and pursuing His ways the best I know how. Now, I'm not saying that I am the best example of a Godly woman. I still make all kinds of mistakes and sin every single day, but I am definitely not "going through the motions" anymore.
So why is it that I need to have this same kind of man in my life?
Ephesians 5:22-24 says:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (ESV)
One day, when I find the man I am going to marry, I am supposed to submit to him. I'm supposed to let him be the head of the household. What would that look like if I find someone who is just going to church because his mom and dad tell him to? What would that look like if I'm just with someone who just thinks that praying before he eats dinner is all the time with the Lord he needs?
Some of you are probably reading this and your feminism thoughts are going wild and you're ready to tell me that "I don't need no man to tell me what to do" and honestly, you're right. I don't need one, but to me, that's God commandment. To one day, truly let my husband be the head of the household. However, that wasn't His only command in this.
Ephesians 5:25-30 says:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. (ESV)
God is commanding husbands to love us in the same way Christ loves the church (His children). And if you don't know how much that is, that's a whole new article in itself but lets just say a whole, whole lot. If they are the Godly men they should be, they will love Christ first, and then us so much that we don't have to ever worry about their leadership steering us into harm.
Girls, if we can find a Godly man, one who puts Jesus before us, I promise submitting to his leadership one day will be so much easier. If my husband is truly pursuing the Lord's will for our life, it will make trusting his decisions that much easier. If I'm the Godly woman God is calling me to be, and my future husband is a Godly man, I know that my life will be one step closer to bringing glory to the Kingdom of God.
So yeah, the stress and desire is still there for that to be filled. But by trusting God's timing and knowing that He is going to bring a man into my life that will push me even closer to Him, makes every step of this singleness worth the wait.
Psalm 37: 4
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.