I'm Done Looking For A Christian Boy

I'm Done Looking For A Christian Boy

It's time to stop looking for a Christian boy, and start waiting for a Godly man.
1140
views

I'm at this time in my life where girls all around me are low-key (actually probably kind of high key) starting to freak out because they're single. Like me, most girls have had this plan that they would meet their husband in college and probably have their "ring by spring." But then we look up and we're 21, going into our senior year of college, and not only do we not have a ring or a serious boyfriend, but the last male we even had a conversation with that lasted longer than ten minutes is probably related to us.

What makes this especially hard is being a Christian girl. By that, I mean that when you are a Christian girl, not only do you want the normal checklist (cute, funny, smart, has a plan for their life, gets along with our family etc.) but at the top of the list is the fact that we are looking for a Christian boy. Somehow meeting a 7 is cool, but then when you find out they love Jesus, all of the sudden they become a 10. So finding just a decent guy worth dating is hard enough, not even throwing in that they are a Christian, too.

But the thing is, I'm slowly realizing that isn't enough. It's not enough for me to tell myself that I just need a guy who believes in Jesus. I don't just need a guy who goes to church on Sunday mornings. I need so much more than that. I don't need a Christian boy. I need a Godly man.

What's the difference there?

Well, to use myself as an example, I've been a "Christian girl" my entire life. I was saved at nine years old and I went to church, I went to youth camps, and I taught VBS. I did it "all" and I was pretty good at looking like I knew what I was doing. But I was definitely just acting because I knew what it looked like to be a Christian. Behind the scenes, I had no real relationship with Christ. But when I got to college I truly made my faith my own. I began to truly walk with the Lord and understand His true purpose for me. I have my daily quiet time and am truly putting my future in God's hands and pursuing His ways the best I know how. Now, I'm not saying that I am the best example of a Godly woman. I still make all kinds of mistakes and sin every single day, but I am definitely not "going through the motions" anymore.

So why is it that I need to have this same kind of man in my life?

Ephesians 5:22-24 says:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (ESV)

One day, when I find the man I am going to marry, I am supposed to submit to him. I'm supposed to let him be the head of the household. What would that look like if I find someone who is just going to church because his mom and dad tell him to? What would that look like if I'm just with someone who just thinks that praying before he eats dinner is all the time with the Lord he needs?

Some of you are probably reading this and your feminism thoughts are going wild and you're ready to tell me that "I don't need no man to tell me what to do" and honestly, you're right. I don't need one, but to me, that's God commandment. To one day, truly let my husband be the head of the household. However, that wasn't His only command in this.

Ephesians 5:25-30 says:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. (ESV)

God is commanding husbands to love us in the same way Christ loves the church (His children). And if you don't know how much that is, that's a whole new article in itself but lets just say a whole, whole lot. If they are the Godly men they should be, they will love Christ first, and then us so much that we don't have to ever worry about their leadership steering us into harm.

Girls, if we can find a Godly man, one who puts Jesus before us, I promise submitting to his leadership one day will be so much easier. If my husband is truly pursuing the Lord's will for our life, it will make trusting his decisions that much easier. If I'm the Godly woman God is calling me to be, and my future husband is a Godly man, I know that my life will be one step closer to bringing glory to the Kingdom of God.

So yeah, the stress and desire is still there for that to be filled. But by trusting God's timing and knowing that He is going to bring a man into my life that will push me even closer to Him, makes every step of this singleness worth the wait.

Psalm 37: 4

Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Cover Image Credit: setxchurchguide.com

Popular Right Now

To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
14848
views

Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

You Ain’t Waiting For God To Bring You Your Dinner, You Get Up And Go Cook It

My words often get jumbled and don't make sense, so I figured writing it would help me come across clearly.

304
views

Dear guy friends of mine,

I want you to know how grateful I am for your friendship. Having close guy friends has helped me better understand men and learn how the male species operates. I've been able to ask you so many questions and you've responded with thoughtfulness, kindness, grace, and honesty. I appreciate your willingness to talk to me.

I want to encourage you in something, and with some of you I have tried, but I think I came across as a little crazy. From what I've been told by married women, guys are very afraid of actual crazy. You want your girl to have some crazy (because all women have at least a little bit of crazy), but you don't want her to be, like, crazy. I get that and respect that.

I want to encourage you to ask girls out. It's scary. You're afraid of rejection. I know this because several of you have told me so. I recently spoke with a guy who's been married for a few years and has a baby daughter. He told me that you guys are scared, you don't want to put your heart on the line and have it crushed. That's a good reason not to pursue girls: you'll remain safe and free from hurt if you don't put your feelings out there.

But here's the other side of it: You'll never find that girl if you never search for her. Now, I know that all things happen in God's timing and as imperfect humans, we can't force things to happen outside of God's timeline. However, Pastor Matt Chandler of The Village Church in Dallas, Texas said this in a sermon several years ago:

"But something's happened in evangelical circles where if you're single you're supposed to not want to be married, but be content in a spot and that's somehow more glorifying than following God's wiring of you to want a mate. And so in the end what happens is that you walk around like a liar. I mean, poor young ladies! Almost all of them have been told, "As soon as you're content, God will send you a man." So you've got hundreds of thousands of women running around acting content! "I'm content, where is he?" You've got other guys going, "You know, I'm just gonna wait for God to bring me the right one." Well, you ain't waiting for God to bring you your dinner, alright? You get up and go cook it."

Pastor Chandler goes on to say that he's not telling the guys to go on the hunt and prowl. No! He's telling guys that they have a role to play in pursuing a woman to marry. Girls have a role to play, too. Girls can't just hang out with their girlfriends in hopes that they'll lock eyes with Prince Charming while in the grocery store or walking their dog in the park. No, girls need to build up the guys in their lives and respect them by letting the guys be guys and giving them opportunities to be gentlemen. That's what I appreciate about you guys, my guy friends. You are such gentlemen and I love that. Don't be afraid to ask out the girl that you think is sweet, cute, pretty, funny, kind, silly, honest, loyal, and the right amount of crazy. You've got this!

Related Content

Facebook Comments