Hey! Hello? Excuse me! Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you? I didn't mean to be rude, I just really wanted you to stop ogling my friend here. Because, you know, my friend doesn't really...
...Seriously. You just cut me off like that? You know, it's my friend you're talking to. They kind of care about me; being rude to me isn't going to bode well for your chances with them. They tend to respond to kindness and respect for others...Oh, and now your back is turned to me, effectively cutting off all visual contact with my friend. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.
*taps on shoulder* Yeah! Hi, as I was saying, my friend and I aren't here to mingle with others, we really just wanted to have a nice night out because life has been really stressful lately. You seem like an intelligent person, surely you can understand that...Oh. Hold on? Yeah, sure, I can hold on for a second, but I...
And once more, it's just me. You know, I don't mind alone time, but usually I prefer it in my room, not in a public place with my best friend. I mean, I guess I'll try it...*loud dance music*...yeah, you know what, this isn't working for me. I know that my friend is the kind you'd wanna hang out with, but could you hang out with them later? This is my scheduled hang-out time.
...Huh? Scoot over? You know, I'd really rather not, this isn't really my scene and I'd really feel more comfortable...Oh, that is my personal bubble. Oh, you are getting pretty close to me...Okay, alright *hands up*. I'm moving over, okay?
Wow, this is not how I saw the night going. *Checks watch* Wow, it's only 9:28. I could've sworn we'd been here seven hours. You know, if we had stayed home and watched "Civil War," this night would've been a lot more fun...I'm hungry, did I do my grocery shopping? Oh! I could kill for some Taco Bell...Hey, friend!
...Friend! Hey, do you wanna go to Taco Bell? I'm starving! Then we could go watch Avengers!...Yeah? Sweet! *stands up* Let's go! ...
...wait... why aren't we leaving...oh, goodness... They're talking again... NO! My friend sat back down!!! Stand Up Stand Up Stand Up!
*taps on shoulder again*... Yeah, Hello again. Yes, I'm still here. We were actually about to leave... No, I don't really want to hold on...*taps on shoulder again*...Hey, we're leaving...We're going to Taco Bell then to watch Avengers...Oh, you just love the Avengers huh?...What? No, I'm sorry no, you can't "tag along"...why not?
BECAUSE I WANT TACO BELL AND TO CHILL WITH MY FRIEND AND YOU ARE TREATING ME LIKE I DON'T EXIST AND I DID NOT SIGN UP TO BE A WINGMAN AND BE IGNORED!
...Oh, well, we live really far away...and don't have space for you to spend the night...
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME. YOU SPENT ALL NIGHT JUDGING MY FRIEND, TRYING TO DECIDE IF THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, WHEN OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU.
... and I just don't feel comfortable with strangers in the house... sorry. Yeah, bye.
FINALLY!!! TACO BELL!
