A Letter To The Girl Torn Between Wonder And Closure

A Letter To The Girl Torn Between Wonder And Closure

Do we really know what happiness is? Or are we just so used to the wonder in it that we forget what closure is?


Dear You,

When you were younger, you were filled with constant wonder and fascination of the fact that you were going to grow up at a certain point in your life. Remember the questions you asked your parents? The innocent days when you thought that you could rule the world? What about the plans you made to be a princess or an astronaut? These were all things that continuously ran through your mind as you grew up and started to really find out who you are.

Growing up has always been in the plan, because that is what everyone does, right? From the time we are born, we are reminded that there will be a day when we are pushed from the nest of comfort and out into the real world of absolute madness, and you have to be able to handle what the world has to offer, good or bad. So, were you really prepared to go out into the world? Probably not.

But here's the thing: why would you constantly wait for a tomorrow that we don't know we're getting yet? This is where the wonder comes through from those premature years of constant questioning and imagination. It seems as we get older we are reminded that creativity is something that should be left behind and is almost dismantled by the judging eyes of the education system. But you have been strong, you have held your head high, and you haven't accepted the closure of your own wonder.

I believe in closure, really, because it allows you to close a door that could open a window into another place that could change your life. However, if you constantly wait on that window, is the waiting all you've ever done? Have you truly had the wonder and sacrifice that it takes to discover a part of yourself that you didn't know existed? You should strive you get to know yourself in the exact place that you are because you are you, and that's enough. I believe that knowing yourself is one of the hardest things to do because it takes both time and discomfort. You can't find yourself by waiting for the wonder or for your tomorrow.

So, debating on what do to when stuck between the door of closure and wonder? I would pick wonder. Say what you mean, don't bite your tongue, don't want for that next opportunity but go and find it. Fall in love, fall out of love, find your best friend, find your happiness within the wonder. But use the closure to finish that dark place that you've been hiding in for years. Use the closure to jump into the next wonders of growing up.

So, here's to growing up and being the best adult questioner there's ever been.


A girl who chose wonder.

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A Letter To My Freshman Dorm Room As I Pack Up My Things

Somehow a 15' x 12' room became a home.


Dear Geary 411,

With your creaky beds, concrete walls, and mismatched tile floors, you are easily overlooked as just another room we were randomly assigned to— but you were different. Inside your old walls, I have made some of the best memories of my life that I will hold on to forever.

Thank you for welcoming my neighbors in with open arms who quickly became friends who didn't knock and walked in like you were their own.

I feel like an apology is needed.

We're sorry for blaring the music so loud while getting ready and acting like we can actually sing when, in reality, we know we can't. Sorry for the dance parties that got a bit out of control and ended with us standing on the desks. Sorry for the cases of the late-night giggles that came out of nowhere and just would not go away. Sorry for the homesick cries and the "I failed my test" cries and the "I'm dropping out" cries. We're sorry for hating you at first. All we saw was a tiny and insanely hot room, we had no idea what you would bring to us.

Thank you for providing me with memories of my first college friends and college experiences.

As I stand at the door looking at the bare room that I first walked into nine months ago I see so much more than just a room. I see lots and lots of dinners being eaten at the desks filled with stories of our days. I see three girls sitting on the floor laughing at God knows what. I see late night ice cream runs and dance battles. I see long nights of homework and much-needed naps. Most importantly, I look at the bed and see a girl who sat and watched her parents leave in August and was absolutely terrified, and as I lock you up for the last time today, I am so proud of who that terrified girl is now and how much she has grown.

Thank you for being a space where I could grow, where I was tested physically, mentally and emotionally and for being my home for a year.


A girl who is sad to go

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What I Wish I Knew About Life After High School Before I Had To Live It

Life after high school isn't always what you expected it to be.


So you're about to graduate high school and you think you have it all figured out. You and your best friends are going to stay close throughout college and you're going to take those long road trips in college to see each other. Think again.

Life after high school isn't always what you want it to be. You think you'll miss high school, you'll always be close with your high school besties, and you'll have all this free time in college. That's just not entirely true. I personally do not miss high school. I don't really talk to anyone I went to high school with on a regular basis, and I'm totally OK with that. I have friends in college that I believe will be my lifelong friends whereas my friends in high school didn't make an effort to keep in contact with me after high school.

I haven't had all the free time I've dreamed of in college, because I'm busy with school and meetings. When I'm not doing homework, I'm making sure the rest of my life is in order and all my stuff for school is in line. I'm not the crazy party girl that people think I am because of where I go to school. I'd rather sit in bed and watch Netflix than go out with my friends. I'm not a 4.0 student, but I work so hard in my classes just to make sure that I'm passing. I study a week before tests and still don't always make A's. And that's OK. It's not what I expected during my college years, but it's what's happening, and most of my friends are the same way.

Anne Marie Bonadio

Just know that life in college isn't all easy, breezy, and beautiful like Covergirl. It's hard and you will struggle whether it be in school or with your friends. College isn't always complete freedom. You'll be tied down with school and life and you won't have the free time that you always imagined. You won't always be best friends with your high school friends. You won't be taking those road trips because you won't be able to afford them, and if you're like me, your parents won't let you.

College won't be exactly what you dreamed it'll be, but it'll be some of the best years of your life.

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