I'm not going to try to hide the fact that this is a very hard topic for me to write about, not because it's not something that isn't important to me, because it is. It's difficult to write about because forgiveness is something that I've struggled with. It's something that we all struggle with, but it's necessary.

Forgiveness is vital. Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ in God forgave you." The thing about this verse is, we can say it and quote it all we want, but living it out is an entirely different thing. We get upset over the smallest of things and hold grudges because someone hurt us. And that's okay. We're human and some of us break easily.

What I've come to realize recently though is that what hurts us, what hurts me, is absolutely nothing compared to what Jesus went through. It is nothing compared to the persecution He went to while on Earth and yet He has forgiven us. That's what that verse means to me. It doesn't matter that someone else's actions hurt me. We all make mistakes and we all fail and disappoint because we are merely humans. It doesn't matter because I'm forgiven for everything I've done that's hurt someone and in return, I have to forgive other people. Of course, I don't have to. I could go around being rude to everyone I know. Forgiveness is a choice, but it's something I need to do.

I need to forgive other people and be kind to other people to show the love of God and Who has forgiven me. I need to be an example of the endless and limitless and unconditional love of Jesus so that they can be forgiven. It's not easy at all. It's a process. But the more I don't let go of what hurts me, the more I will be unhappy. It's extremely hard to do let go. Things hurt us because they matter to us and the deeper you care about something, the more hurt you'll be when it goes awry. But the more I forgive others (and myself) for not being perfect, the more I will be happy. I don't know about you, but if there is anything I can do in this world to make it a little bit of a brighter and happier place, I'm going to do it.

One of my favorite Ben Rector songs is called "More Like Love." The chorus says "This whole world is spinning crazy and I can't quite keep up. It's the one thing around here that we don't have quite enough of so I just wanna look more like love." And that's what I want to do. Looking like love doesn't mean you let people walk all over you. It means standing your ground and when people have done you wrong, you respectfully let them know that you've forgiven them. Have I always done this? No. Have I held grudges? Yes. But I recognize that I was wrong and I am working on changing that.

Earlier, I mentioned I believe that forgiveness is a choice. Lamentations 3:23 says, "His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning." Every morning we have the opportunity to choose. We have the opportunity to choose love. We have the opportunity to choose mercy. We have the opportunity to choose forgiveness every day because, that's what God has done for us. If we are going to look anything like love, it's going to first be by the grace of God. Will we always choose the right choice? Probably not. Some days we will fail. Sometimes we will be angry at others and we're going to disappoint them and ourselves. At the end of the day, what matters is that we recognize the need to forgive and by being forgiving, we are being a shining light of love in a world that has become almost completely dark.

So, I'm working on forgiveness, for both others and myself. Forgiving others for small things and forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am constantly asking God to help me to learn to forgive, because I know it will bring peace and joy unlike anything else. It doesn't mean that I won't get hurt and it doesn't mean that people won't try to take advantage of me, but it does mean that I'm trying to live how God wants me to live and that is all that truly matters.