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If You Are The Type Of Person Who Gives Your Friends The World, It Is Best You Choose Wisely

We are at the point in life where it is so much more important to have a few close friendships than it is to have many shallow ones.

Abbey Brandt

May 07, 2019

UCLA

587

If You Are The Type Of Person Who Gives Your Friends The World, It Is Best You Choose Wisely

Abbey Brandt

A few years ago, one of my closest friends stopped talking to me. She just stopped. When I asked why, she simply said, "You have too many friends." Too many friends? Seriously?

I didn't really understand what she meant until now.

I focused so much of my energy on saying hi to everyone, meeting everyone, impressing everyone, being friends with everyone. I was so focused on establishing these surface-level relationships that I didn't have the energy to dig deeper.

Think about it this way: you have a bucket filled with a finite volume of water and 10 smaller, empty buckets. You can choose to fill each of these with a small amount of water, or you can opt to fill 3 of them to the brim. The same goes for relationships; if you divide your love and energy amongst all you meet, you will be left with several friendships hanging on by threads. If you choose instead to give your all to a few, you will reap the benefits of a select number of strong, unbreakable bonds.

Which will you choose?

As I said, I have a history of choosing the weaker option. I'd like to make it clear that I wholeheartedly regret this. I wish I had the heart to let some friends go, and the strength to hold others a little closer. I guess what I'm trying to say by sharing this with you is to avoid making the same mistakes I did:

1. Stop wasting your energy.

Why continue to exhaust yourself over something that doesn't make YOU happy? If you give everything you have to someone and it's not reciprocated or they walk away, at least you have the peace of mind in knowing there was nothing else you could have done.

2. Fights are healthy.

Every friendship will be challenged by disagreements at some point. Don't let that scare you away; these miscommunications and arguments only prove the strength of bonds that don't break under pressure.

3. Quality over quantity.

It's rare to find friends whose presence just makes you happy to be alive. If you find one, two, or a few of those people, don't let them go. If they make you happy, why look further?

4. Don't forget to say "I love you".

Your friends need to know you appreciate them, just as you need to know they appreciate you. Maybe straight-up saying "I love you" isn't your style and you'd rather give a pat on the back or send a "drive safe" text. Regardless, remember to remind those special people just how special they are to you.

5. Nurture the friendships that help you grow

The best relationships - platonic or romantic - help you find your best self. You should never feel like a friendship is degrading your character, morphing your morals, or changing your behavior in any way other than what you feel is right. Plant your roots in whatever it is that keeps you seeing the sun.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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If You Are The Type Of Person Who Gives Your Friends The World, It Is Best You Choose Wisely

We are at the point in life where it is so much more important to have a few close friendships than it is to have many shallow ones.

1. Stop wasting your energy.

2. Fights are healthy.

3. Quality over quantity.

4. Don't forget to say "I love you".

5. Nurture the friendships that help you grow

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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